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/ 11 February 2005

What if Zuma were president …

January: President Zuma is inaugurated at the Union Buildings. He announces that the buildings will henceforth be called the Fikile Mbalula Buildings after the spirited campaign put up by the Youth League leader. Later in the month Schabir Shaik is appointed the Minister of Finance (Deputy: Brett Kebble); Mo Shaik is Minister of Intelligence; Yunus Shaik becomes the Minister of Justice … The <i>M&G</i> provides its month-by-month forecast.

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/ 11 February 2005

Tsunami: Rebuilding must begin quickly

As we move from tsunami relief to rebuilding, it is equally critical that we work to break the cycle of poverty and create a better, more hopeful future for the peoples of the region and not recreate the circumstances that made them vulnerable to the disaster. The enormous effect of this tragedy is one of many reminders that we are all linked together by forces that are both visible and invisible.

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/ 10 February 2005

Why poll got our X

Last week, the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) took the toughest decision we’ve ever had to in our five-year history: the national council voted to lift the suspension on participating in elections and entered the race under protest. Making tough choices is part and parcel of politics, but it did not come without soul-searching, writes MDC secretary general Welshman Ncube.

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/ 10 February 2005

Boy in a bubble looking for love

A 29-year-old suburban Sydney lifeguard, fed up with the life of a bachelor, moved into a giant plastic bubble on Thursday in hopes of attracting a Valentine. Luke, who declined to give his family name, said he will spend the next five days living in the clear plastic ball in a downtown Sydney shopping mall in hopes of finding true love.

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/ 10 February 2005

Police flummoxed by flying frozen fowl

Australian police admitted on Thursday they are mystified by a spate of apparent attacks on homes using frozen chickens as missiles. Police in Newcastle, about 100km north of Sydney, said chicken carcasses have damaged at least three suburban homes in recent weeks. They said the chickens hit the homes with great force.

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/ 10 February 2005

Ispat Iscor headline earnings up by 183%

South African iron and steel producer Ispat Iscor on Thursday reported basic headline earnings per share of 1 019 cents for the year ended December 31 2004, from 360 cents a year ago. A final dividend of 100 cents per share was declared from 75 cents a year earlier, making a total for the year of 400 cents from 175 cents a year ago.

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/ 9 February 2005

Standard Bank gets tough with non-compliers

South African banking group Standard Bank said on Wednesday that it has placed restrictions on the accounts of a small number of customers who have failed to comply with Financial Intelligence Centre Act requirements to reidentify themselves. These customers have ignored the bank’s repeated requests to reidentify themselves

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/ 9 February 2005

When the cops become criminals

When 14-year-old Joyce Gwabasa went to the police station near her home on the KwaZulu-Natal South Coast, to report a street fight, she had no idea that the two officers whom she trusted to deal with the crime would attempt to rape her. KwaZulu-Natal’s safety and security minister has admitted that nine police stations in the Durban area have "bad, bad police officers working there".

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/ 9 February 2005

Chocolate sushi, witch-hunts, geeks and gimps

"I’ve been waiting years to say this in a public place — would you mind if I nibbled at Uranus? Or if you’re phobic, maybe I could just eat your Mars? Before you get huffy and indignant, some chocolate-makers decided that what the world needed was a fully edible party pack of all the planets of the solar system, made out of chocolate." This, and more, from Ian Fraser’s goodie bag.

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/ 9 February 2005

‘Illness of unknown origin’ and ‘pockets of rubber’

HIV/Aids is a serious subject, and is not usually much fun. But this time it was. In this remote spot of southern Côte d’Ivoire, it was as if the circus had come to town. Under the banner of the Aids lexicon project, a team of specialists were here to introduce local language equivalents for words like "Aids" and "contraceptives" to promote a better understanding of the virus among the country’s rural population.

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/ 8 February 2005

Four-year-old borrows car to rent video

A four-year-old boy borrowed his mother’s car overnight to go rent a video game, police in Sandlake, Michigan, said on Monday. At about 1.30am local time on Friday, a patrol officer reported seeing a car with its lights off moving at a snail’s pace, zigzagging between two lanes on a highway, said police chief Doug Heugel.

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/ 8 February 2005

Britons want some new deadly sins

The seven deadly sins — anger, gluttony, sloth, envy, pride, lust and greed — are out of date and should include cruelty, adultery and bigotry, the results of an opinion poll suggest. Greed is the only one of the seven that should remain a sin in today’s Britain, according to the poll by the Mori organisation for BBC television’s <i>Heaven and Earth</i>.

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/ 8 February 2005

Govt ‘forces’ enterprises to move abroad

South African government policies are forcing enterprises to move abroad because they do not want the government to dictate to them whom they should choose as business partners in South Africa, says the Freedom Front Plus. The minister of minerals and energy on Monday called on the marketing arm of De Beers to move to Southern Africa.

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/ 8 February 2005

And this is the bedroom …

A real-estate agent could lose his licence in Australia after allegedly being caught having sex with his assistant in a client’s bed, Australian radio reported on Tuesday. The homeowner, identified only as James, told ABC radio that his 28-year-old daughter caught the real-estate agent having sex in their master bedroom.

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/ 8 February 2005

Great-grandfather falls foul of pub headgear ban

A British great-grandfather said on Tuesday he has decided to boycott his local pub after being asked to remove his flat cap under rules designed to stop thugs hiding their faces from security cameras. John Lalor used to drop into the Jolly Falstaff pub just metres from his home in Warrington, north-west England, virtually every day.

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/ 7 February 2005

Germany’s dead ringers

People who feel the need to talk to their near and dear even after they have passed away can now do so quite literally, thanks to a special cellphone invented by a German who wanted to keep in touch with his late mother. The system consists of a one-way phone and loudspeaker device that can be buried close to the person’s coffin.

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/ 7 February 2005

Sydney fireman takes fire engine on pizza run

A suburban Sydney fireman has been suspended after his station was unable to answer an emergency call because he had allegedly driven the fire engine on a pizza run, fire officials said on Monday. The New South Wales Fire Brigade has launched an inquiry. "This is extremely rare," said assistant fire commissioner John Benson.

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/ 7 February 2005

Lovesickness could be fatal, experts warn

The concept of lovesickness might be more than just a flighty poetic notion, as it can burden the afflicted with genuine mental trauma, a British psychological study warned on Sunday. In the most serious cases, the "disease" can prove fatal, the researchers said, calling for lovesickness to be taken more seriously by the medical profession.

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/ 7 February 2005

Nasty surprise for chat-room lovers

A budding romance between a Jordanian man and woman turned into an ugly public divorce when the couple found out that they were in fact man and wife, state media reported on Sunday. Separated for several months, boredom and chance briefly reunited Bakr Melhem and his wife, Sanaa, in an internet chat room.

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/ 7 February 2005

Lucky lottery find in kitchen drawer

When most people rummage through their kitchen drawers, they rarely uncover anything more exciting than a mislaid knife. Joanne and David Austin, however, found a lottery ticket that made them rich. The couple, from Hull in northern England, were oblivious to the fact they had bought a winning ticket in Britain’s National Lottery a month ago.

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/ 7 February 2005

Nasdaq seeks South African listings

Nasdaq, the United States’s largest electronic stock market, is discussing listings with "several" South African companies and a listing is expected this year, Nasdaq managing director Paulina McGroarty told a briefing in Johannesburg on Monday. This is Nasdaq’s second road show in the country and follows a visit in August.

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/ 7 February 2005

Who can tango the loudest?

I suppose we should continue to be afraid – very afraid. The British-American-sponsored version of democracy, that is free and fair elections across Iraq, is being celebrated with jubilation and gusto across the world through CNN, the independent international news network rivalled only by al-Jazeera. The question is, which one of these networks brings more balance to what we are receiving through the testimony of our eyes.

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/ 7 February 2005

AU dodges ‘who is more African’ debate

Presidents Thabo Mbeki, Hosni Mubarak and Olusegun Obasanjo have steered clear of the controversy over Nigerian academic Dayo Oluyemi-Kusa’s assertion that South Africa and Egypt were not black enough to represent the continent on the United Nations Security Council. "The president would never get involved in commenting on something like this," said Mbeki’s spokesperson.

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/ 7 February 2005

Making a little go a long way

This is the time of year when the recurring issues of academic and financial exclusions at higher education institutions surface. This has seen some students given access and others not; and where difficult choices are made between equally pressing priorities. All this has to be done while the playing fields remain uneven.

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/ 6 February 2005

Life at home with Mildred

Mildred the Maid gives me two-and-a-half days off each week. That’s not including weekends, when I’m expected to do my own thing with my own family, while she does the same with hers (and spends the first hour of her first working day back at the ranch the following week giving me every blow-by-blow detail of that most stressful of periods — "Life At Home").

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/ 5 February 2005

Angola faces a season of preventable malaria deaths

Although Angola applied for funding to fight malaria, the money will arrive too late to switch to more effective combination drugs and avoid another grim season of preventable deaths. Stamping out the scourge — one of the biggest killers of Angolan children — is considered a top priority by many in the health ministry, but events have undermined the good intentions of the government.

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/ 4 February 2005

It’s just a pickpocket, Mr President

Security guards and reporters trailing French President Jacques Chirac on his first visit to Senegal in a decade fell prey to the army of pickpockets operating in the capital, Dakar, members of the press corps said on Thursday. At least two members of the presidential security detail were relieved of personal effects.

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/ 4 February 2005

China’s golden read

The world’s first newspaper made of gold has been published in south China, selling for 69&nbsp;000 yuan (about R51&nbsp;000) a copy, state media reported on Thursday. The one-off publishing event was launched by the <i>China Economic Daily</i> in the boom city of Shenzhen, the Xinhua news agency said.