The Fifth Column

 
The Archbishop's new mural
The Archbishop's new mural
Dear Arts and Culture,
A Workers’ Day for deadbeats
A Workers’ Day for deadbeats
I think it’s fair to say that President Jacob Zuma has given notice and is exhibiting all the characteristics of an employee seeing out his...
CEO sleepout just a cottage industry
CEO sleepout just a cottage industry
‘Good evening, Mrs Tshabalala! How lovely to see you. I’m Mr Hotshot CEO™ and, as you know, I’m here for the CEO SleepOut™.
Death by Windows updates
Death by Windows updates
THE FIFTH COLUMN“Please do not unplug or power off your machine,” the screen read, which I took as a threat minus the “or else” bit, so I...
Shuffling to a standstill: A Caucasian's protest
Shuffling to a standstill: A Caucasian's protest
Last week, axed Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan unashamedly called for mass mobilisation. Whether drunk or under the influence of a dagga, I’m...
The Gobble Rapture is imminent
The Gobble Rapture is imminent
“Damn him to the hottest fires of hell!” cries high priest Myxomatosis ecstatically, before crashing drunkenly off the platform provided.
Tell-tale signs that life’s a glitch
Tell-tale signs that life’s a glitch
Over dinner the other night my girlfriend and I had a lively discussion on Elon Musk’s theory — which she believed to ring true —...
​It’s dry, but you can’t drink it
​It’s dry, but you can’t drink it
On a sharp turn leading on to a fast highway the sign makes a brief appearance flashing the words: “This course is irrigated by effluent water”...
Bond: ‘We’re always in danger, boetie’
Bond: ‘We’re always in danger, boetie’
It was a dark night in September and a heavyset man in a two-tone shirt approached me.

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