The leaders that are celebrated in politics and in business are often praised for their decisiveness, authority and strength. Their certainty, composure and sense of control help to inspire confidence among those that they lead. But what if there is another side to the story?
Over my 18 years of leading a non-governmental organisation (NGO), I have learned lessons that no business book or executive programme could teach. The most profound education in my career has come from the people we work with, seriously ill children and their families.
Spending time with children facing chemotherapy, surgery and life-threatening diagnoses challenges your ideas about what it means to be brave and resilient. While society often celebrates leaders who claim to have all the answers, there are often no easy solutions for the challenges we face.
When a child faces a painful treatment regimen or an uncertain diagnosis, the child and their family have no good options. Confidence and conviction count for little. In that context, leadership is not about being decisive or having all the answers. It is about how medical professionals and organisations like Reach For A Dream show up for them.
Courage is not the absence of fear
Seriously ill children redefine what courage means. When we think of a courageous leader, we describe them as being willing to make difficult decisions or challenge the status quo. But courage means something very different when viewed through the eyes of a child facing another round of treatment.
It is about choosing to smile before chemotherapy, knowing how difficult the day ahead will be. Imagine having the strength to comfort your parents when you are the one receiving treatment. This is not the sort of courage you may read about in management textbooks, but it is the kind of strength that helps others to keep going through the darkest moments.
The children and families we work with also challenge us to rethink what grit and resilience truly are. Popular culture portrays resilience as perseverance in the face of a single big setback. But it is a choice that children living with serious illnesses keep making every day. They attend another medical appointment. They endure more treatment. They find reasons to laugh between hospital visits, and they keep dreaming about tomorrow.
Watching our children and families reminds me that courage is not the absence of fear. Nor is resilience the absence of struggle. What matters most is moving forward even when you are afraid. Whereas traditional leadership often encourages emotional distance, leaders can often be more inspiring and effective when they embrace vulnerability.
Vulnerability creates connection, trust and stronger leadership
Leaders often face pressure to remain composed, absorb pressure and project confidence even when they feel uncertain. But working alongside children and their families has taught me that acknowledging the difficult moments actually inspires more confidence and reassures others that they are not facing uncertainty alone.
We have days when the emotional weight of our work is overwhelming. While our leaders have difficult days, pretending that emotions like grief and fear do not exist creates distance rather than trust. Acknowledging pain and uncertainty while still demonstrating the determination to keep moving forward inspires more confidence.
Children with serious illnesses also show us the nature and value of hope. Whereas many leadership decisions are informed by data, forecasts and financial models, numbers are not enough to inspire a belief in the future. You often need to keep the faith even when the full contours of the solution are not yet in view.
Hope is not wishful thinking, but the decision to keep building, solving and serving, even when the outcome remains uncertain. This is a mindset that has helped to sustain us through changing economic conditions, growing community needs and the constant challenge of serving our beneficiaries.
Leadership is measured by the impact we have on others
I often think of examples of leadership we have seen in our work over the years. Klaas, one of our dreamers, was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma, a rare, aggressive cancer. He dreamed of meeting his Formula One hero, Lewis Hamilton. When we arranged the meeting in 2017, Hamilton spent more time with Klaas than we expected.
He showed Klaas around the Mercedes garage and invited him to join the team during the qualifying session, which determines the starting order on the race grid. This experience underlined how leadership is about recognising each other's humanity, taking time and being fully present.
Leadership is not about always being the strongest person in the room. It is built on serving others, having the courage to be vulnerable and finding reasons to remain hopeful in the most difficult circumstances. The children I have had the privilege of meeting have shown me that true leadership is about helping others believe tomorrow can be better than today.
Julia Sotirianakos is the CEO of Reach For A Dream Foundation