ANC secretary general Fikile Mbalula. Photo: Luba Lesolle/Gallo Images
Thursday.
The firepools have come home to roost — metaphorically speaking — for the ANC over its lies in parliament in defence of its former president, Jacob Zuma, and his abuse of public funds back in the day.
ANC secretary general Fikile Mbalula threw his comrades — and his predecessor Gwede Mantashe — under the bus (or should that be into the deep end) with his admission at the weekend that they knew Zuma’s R3.9 million pool was for swimming and not fighting fires.
Since then there’s been a to-ing and fro-ing between Mbalula and Mantashe — who was secretary general at the time of the firepool — while those who sat on the committee have taken cover.
The ministers who came up with the whole firepool story in the first place — Nathi Nhleko and Thulas Nxesi — are also hiding in plain sight, although Nxesi may have bigger problems than Mbalula recalling scandals of the past to deal with right now.
Mbalula, however, appears to be unfazed by the ANC facing another unnecessary distraction on the eve of its 112th anniversary celebrations.
No surprise there.
Mbaks wasn’t the secretary general who laid down the party line to stonewall then public protector Thuli Madonsela’s Nkandla report, nor was he among the MPs who enforced it in parliament.
Those who did aren’t exactly on the correct side of the Ramaphosa/Zuma divide in the ANC.
If their heads have to roll to get the ANC over the line in the coming elections, so be it.
It’s been just under a month since Zuma announced that he was behind the formation of the uMkhonto weSizwe (MK) party and that he would be campaigning — and voting — for the breakaway party.
It’s been 30 days of non-stop public appearances by uBaba since he dropped the bomb on 16 December; four weeks of motorcades, meets-and-greets and social media outpourings by the supporters of the most recent factional splintering of the governing party.
Zuma has been here, there and everywhere since he declared his intent to take on the party he led for two terms.
For a man whose public appearances had been limited to a variety of court precincts — and the odd prison — since he was recalled by the ANC in February 2018, uBaba has been busy.
The former head of state has been a one-man whirlwind of insults, songs and promises as he crosses the country campaigning against the party that once — make that twice — campaigned for him to be president.
Not bad for an 80-something who was sent home from prison on medical parole because of his life-threatening condition not that long ago.
It’s a remarkable recovery, Biblical in its proportions: up there with those of Lazarus and Jonah — and of Liverpool FC in the 2005 final against AC Milan.
Our very own Miracle in Istanbul.
A month is gone and there are Mkhonto T-shirts, banners and energy drinks everywhere — or everywhere on social media at least — and, of course, in the Kingdom.
Down here, a whole industry has sprung up around the Zuma party since its birth, just like it did back in 2005, when his legal woes first began.
The ANC says it still wants the name of its former military wing back, and is going to court to retrieve it, but that has done nothing to slow down the production line churning out the Zuma party T-shirts.
If its propagandists are to be believed, MK has already won the elections before uBaba’s head even gets onto the ballot paper.
It’s claiming a million members a day growth rate — by Christmas Day the membership it posted on social media was already higher than Mzansi’s total population.
Perhaps they used uBaba’s calculator.
A month after its launch, we don’t know that much about uMkhonto kaZuma.
We know it blames his successor, Cyril Ramaphosa, for everything from the old man’s downfall to South Africa’s skewed economy, the lack of electricity and Bafana Bafana’s inability to perform in international competitions.
We know that it supports Zuma, who doesn’t support the electoral system that gave him two terms in office (almost) and the keys to the treasury for nine years.
uBaba wants the votes to be counted in the street, or on TV, or somewhere in public, all eleventy seven million of them, or something along those lines.
One wonders why uBaba is only asking questions about the vote-counting system now, after he got kicked out for raiding the till?
Perhaps he was too busy selling the country to the Brothers Gupta to have noticed the inequities in the system at the time?
Perhaps.