Smirnoff Plate (R100 000); 1 200 metre; Scottsville, May 23
I had a chance literally to blow new life into the Comrades Marathon this year, but I blew it. Or rather, I didn’t blow it. Spurs had lost the cup, equine flu was threatening to ruin the Natal feature racing season, and I was brewing my own particular virus, 12 days from the Comrades Marathon. It wasn’t going to be a good Wednesday, but the bright spot on the horizon was my interview with Bruce Fordyce, planned months ago.
Huh! I didn’t take the thin editor into account: “You can’t go to interview the favourite for the Comrades with flu; your germs could rewrite the history of South African road-running. Imagine it — Fordyce loses Comrades through Equinus flu.”
I pulled the small sports editor aside. “Listen, Brother J, tell the thin bugger I’ve cancelled the interview. But I won’t. I’ll go and breathe all over Fordyce, weaken up his system a fair degree; this virus is a rough one. Then we’ll pour your savings, and some money you’re going to lend me, onto Bob de la Motte.”
“Good thinking, Equinus,” he replied, “but what if Hosea Tjale wins, or anyone else for that matter? This is what we do. You go round to interview Fordyce in a surgical mask. You then hand him a note which reads: ‘I’ve got an imported Catholic viral strain from an Amazon swamp surrounded by mulattos with leprosy; sign over your BMW, your running shoes and half your bank balance or I’ll breathe at you.’ After he’s signed breathe at him anyway. We’ll probably get 9-2 on De la Motte.”
“What a business,” I replied, “and why stop there? I could pull the same trick on first night actresses, pretty young debutantes and beauty contest finalists. In fact, I could think of a lot of people I’d like to do some close breathing around.”
He agreed and we formed a company — Snob (the Society of Noxious Breathers) which later changed its name to Germ (Group for Eliciting Riches via the Mouth). Germ had its first setback when I reached Fordyce’s house.
ln the garden stood four toughs wearing Rand Athletic Club running vests, surgical masks and wielding baseball bats. They chased me for five kilometres, forcing me to beat my PB for the distance by 3,5 minutes.
When I got back to the office, I caught the small sports editor on the phone offering the racing editorship to Francois Wolfaardt. Obviously I was a faster runner than the little traitor expected. The church also wants me dead. The Bishop has ordered up-to date statistics on flu-ridden athletes who have dropped dead during road races.
These figures have cheered him up immensely and, at present Luiz and Jorge are busy digging a two metre hole in the diocese’s cabbage patch. The Bishop has also cancelled an arrangement by which my continental creditors were going to erect a gatling gun at the summit of Inchanga.
“Equinus will die a holy man,” the Bishop’s been shrieking all week. When he started giggling hysterically during the Eucharist last weekend, I thought he had the same thoughts on his mind, but Luiz assures me it was because he had put some jimson weed into the host.
My creditors have cancelled their reservations on prime confession box time for the winter season of misdemeanour, which means they’re really mad. So I’d better pick some winners and keep the Italian loan shark from the debtor’s door.
Biggest news this weekend is the Smirnoff Plate at Scottsville. Nine juveniles are being sent out in search of the R61 250 first prize, and all have some sort of chance.
Imperial Silver’s reputation is very much on the line this time out after he blotted his copybook badly at Germiston in his last feature appearance. Nick van Tonder felt that 1 600m may have been too far for his stocky charge, and certainly 1 200 will suit the Transvaal raider better.
But I prefer the chances of two other customers: Terrance Millard’s Royal Chalice and David Payne’s Hamildon Hill. The former stands out as a good bet since Millard has already introduced this horse successfully into the Natal winter scramble for feature honours. Royal Chalice could improve further at a stage when Imperial Silver will not particularly relish another tough feature.
The Transvaal Tattersalls Bookmakers Association Handicap tops the card. This is Nile Force’s race. He has a 4,5 length turnaround with Yardmaster for a 2,8 length beating in March. That’s not conclusive, but if one considers that Nile Force is in a low weight register per se, with only 50,5kgs on board, the five-year old horse must fancied to beat the three-year old gelding.
Algernon Percy and Harrington will also find their followers, but neither is overly reliable. Of the rest Boezinge, stable companion to Nile Force, is the most likely to surprise.
Selections:
Natal feature:
3 Royal Chalice; 8 Homildon Hill; 1 Imperial Silver
Turffontein:
Race 1:
16 Sylvan Song; 17 Smorgasbord; 12 Regal Jones
Race 2:
15 Queensbury Bay; 10 Mexican Wonder; 13 Miss Knox
Race 3:
1 Apton Angel; 10 Taxiella; 8 Roland’s Kiss
Race 4:
10 Quick Bid; 2 Tannhauser; 3 Controlled Power
Race 5:
4 Pedometer; 6 Retribution; 2 Lines Of Power
Race 6:
4 Nile Force; 8 Yardmaster; 1 Algernon Percy
Race 7:
7 Spirit Of Fire; 9 Endurance Runner; 10 Fording bridge
Race 8:
4 Book Over; 5 My Advantage; 3 Blue Saloon
Race 9:
5 Sporting Lord; 1 Blow The Whistle; 8 Whip around
Transvaal Jackpot (R 10)
1st Leg: 4 Pedometer
2nd Leg: 4 Nile Force (coupled); 8 Yardmaster
3rd Leg: 2 Asteko; 6 Happy Fortune; 7 Spirit Of Fire; 9 Endurance Runner; 10 Fording bridge
4th Leg: 4 Book Over; 5 My Advantage