/ 9 September 1994

The Feather Masters Of The Universe

Feathers may defy the laws of gravity but theyre good business if youre into extravagant head-gear. Sean Badal reports

THERE are more feathers surrounding Andre Kemp and Nikki Swift than a pouting Prince in Paisley Park. But before you rush out and invest in Seventies retro gear and risk becoming a casualty of fashion, take note — its more vocational hazard than high camp. Yep. They call us feather masters in South Africa, but we prefer the more chic French description — over there, its Monsieur le Plume. The French certainly dont mince their words! And thats not a joke, says Kemp.

Theyve been at it for the past 15 years — and while their services may not be as much in demand as those of ageing rock stars or computer programmers, theyve been doing well.

Its definitely a niche market, explains Kemp. There are not a lot of feather masters out there, so were guaranteed at least steady employment. Weve been working as a team since we started doing the first Sun City shows in 1979. And it was a bit like Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show in the Fifties – – the girls had all this gorgeous gear on, with feathers everywhere, but they couldnt move a muscle because they were topless — it was against the law for semi-nude women to move while they were on stage.

There are scenes of operatic chaos at Sun Citys production offices in Johannesburg: leering mannequins, bits of arms and legs sticking out of boxes — and lots of feathers. But its all for a purpose, insists Swift.

Being a feather master is not the tidiest business to be in. For a new show, we sometimes have to trim 3 000 feathers individually. And feathers have a tendency to defy the laws of gravity. After that, they have to be bleached and dyed very carefully. Its a long, slow, tedious process. We cant afford to make mistakes because we often pay up to R100 for one feather.

Our feathers dont come from the local henhouse either: they are imported from Taiwan, and taken from a special breed of pheasant that is a local delicacy among the Chinese — so were assured of a steady supply. Once weve made the head-gear, we try them out to make sure the girls can actually wear them on stage for a period of time. We figure if we can do a rugby tackle in them, then the girls can carry them off on stage!

Political correctness does not figure in the selection procedure for dancers either. Vertically- challenged women are not top of the list as prospective dancers. Says Kemp: The important thing is that the girls have to be well-built. If they have a ton of feathers on their heads and theyre too short, they end up looking like powder- puffs on legs.

Like all other shows, the Sun City extravaganzas are subject to the vagaries of public taste, but South African audiences have been consistent in their pleasures, says Kemp. South African men are not slavering perverts with beer bellies, bad attitudes and secret feather fetishes.

We do get the extravaganza freakies– groups of people whove attended all the shows since the late Seventies — but thats usually during the first four weeks of the shows. After that things settle down to normal.

So, whats the future like for the Feather Masters of the Universe?

Were booked up until 1996, says Kemp. Its all about glamour, and the tits and feather business provides that.

There is a trend — especially in America — to more stark shows, without all the glitz and glamour, but that wont last. People dont go to shows to see dancers in khaki and denim. Theres also a trend towards satire and parody in Europe. The men wear the feathers, and the women are fully clothed. But, hey, they still need feathers!