/ 26 May 1995

The B man gets in a spin 20

Bafana Khumalo=20 Native Tongue=20

I should have let the son of a female dog be. I really=20 should have let him walk past me as I stood at the Civic=20 Theatre foyer trying to convince my dearly beloved that I=20 was the most important person in that theatre — that with=20 a flick of my wrist I could make or break the play that had=20 just opened. She looked at me and asked me which fly-by- night self-motivation and writing school I had been taking=20 lessons from. I was about to tell her to be less brutal on=20 me when I saw the short stocky man. =20

That’s when my troubles started for I recognised the man as=20 somebody from my youth and I duly told dearly beloved about=20 him. Upon my face came that dorky type of expression that=20 covers people’s faces when the glory of their insignificant=20 youth comes flooding back to them. A youth they think the=20 entire world should know about. “Ah, that was a great guy,”=20 I told her as I related to her how we used to horse around=20 in the township with this guy and my older brother. She=20 looked at me with the expression that said, “Yeah yeah.=20 Tell me about it, this is as exciting as watching a group=20 of white men chase around a field, chasing an oblong ball=20 and spitting all over the pitch.” =20

The man was walking in our direction and, seeing that I had=20 not seen him in over 15 years, he knew a bar of soap better=20 than he knew me. As he walked past us, I called his name=20 and, as a regular social butterfly — I had gathered this=20 in the few minutes I had watched him vociferiously greeting=20 everybody, giving them the “mwa-mwa” greeting, kissing the=20 air around their cheeks — he feigned recognition. He shook=20 my hand enthusiastically and proceeded to ask me how=20 everything was, “my bra, long time no see”. =20

Under normal circumstances, I would have played along with=20 him and quickly gotten rid of him, but this was not a=20 normal circumstance, I wanted to show my dearly beloved=20 that there are people who don’t think of me as “that=20 pompous little fart”. I decided to take the bull by the=20 horns and said to the man, “You don’t really remember me,=20 do you?” This was said with that smug tone which suggested=20 that I had the upper hand, I had more ubuntu, for I never=20 forget faces. =20

After furrowing his brow, and peering at my face in an=20 active, animated show of how hard he was trying to remember=20 me, he gave up. =20

I told him my name; his brow narrowed further. I finally=20 had to tell him my family tree and that I used to live in a=20 house next door to his and that’s when the penny dropped=20 and I realised that my friend from my ice cream days was an=20 unmitigated nerd, who should be culled. His eyes lit up as=20 pictures of us running around the sewage-infested streets=20 flooded his mind. In these pictures he had the wrong man=20 for he said to me, “You mean you are that fat, short boy=20 who could not spin a top?” =20

He was not being abusive; in his little mind he was trying=20 to describe me as he remembered me. It was unfortunate that=20 I did not remember myself in those terms. I thought this=20 through while noting that even if I had been short and fat,=20 I am now tall and thin, something that my friend from the=20 past is not. In fact, he was short and fat.=20

I wondered why I had called the fool over as I heard dearly=20 beloved’s derisive laughter cackle through the foyer. She=20 took the short bastard by the hand as she asked him: “Tell=20 me about the top again …”=20

High points even for the low scorers=20

They may be taking a beating in the matches =20 but the smaller nations are a vital part of the =20 vibrant Rugby World Cup=20

RUGBY: Jon Swift=20

IT HAS become patently evident during the first week of=20 Rugby World Cup ’95 that the layers and levels which go to=20 make up this fascinating, fractious game are difficult in=20 the extreme to quantify.=20

The strata are evident in virtually everything connected to=20 this 16-nation tournament. In the playing skills, the=20 refereeing and in the sheer emotion of the whole thing.=20

And then, almost as an unexpected overlay on this pastiche=20 of language, styles and individual national colours and=20 anthems, there is a torrent of rugby, including the heights=20 Francois Pienaar’s side rose to in the tournament opener in=20 Cape Town, giving the arrogant Australians a fearsome 27-18=20 klap, riding on the wave of emotion off the terraces.=20

There was the same pride in the performance which had come=20 through in President Nelson Mandela’s opening address to=20 our rainbow nation.=20

It was real pride. One you felt that all of us — not just=20 15 men in green and gold — had somehow finally earned.=20

The green and gold was also the designation chosen for=20 differentiating the changed combination which carried this=20 country’s new pride into the second pool game against=20 Romania. South Africa came out as 21-8 winners and certain=20 quarterfinalists, yet many would have described this as a=20 low point.=20

Perhaps there was not the cohesive fire of the whacking of=20 the Wallabies. And the facade of a colour code doesn’t fool=20 the players.=20

Romanian captain Tiberius Brinza shredded the smokescreen=20 by simply referring to the side Adriaan Richter had led=20 against him as the “South African reserves”. One country?=20 Certainly. One team? Not quite.=20

But that said, we should not be judging the young men=20 President Mandela calls “boys” on one performance. =20

And how can victory of whatever nature be a disappointment?=20

Certainly judged against the torrent of Scots tries which=20 caught Cote d’Ivoire on the wrong end of an 89-0 deluge in=20 Rustenburg can be said to be a low. So too could the 57-10=20 hammering Japan took in going down seven tries to two in=20

But that would be from the perspective of the winners, a=20 notoriously one-sided viewpoint.=20

The Ivorians, following their 54-8 defeat by the French on=20 Tuesday at Rustenburg, were all but on their way home. But=20 then they have had to battle far harder than many of the=20 nations represented — with less resources, finances or=20 rugby tradition, it must be added.=20

Cote d’Ivoire represents both the growth and the future of=20 the game in Africa. Their presence at World Cup is every=20 bit as important as South Africa’s long overdue affirmative=20 action in developing roots in the previously rocky ground=20 of the underprivileged.=20

Japan too have shown themselves worthy opponents, even if=20 the scoreboard at Bloemfontein’s Free State Stadium has not=20 always borne this out. They have — without the benefit of=20 any lineout forwards to speak of –played the game with a=20 passion and fire, buzzing and bothering, hurrying and=20 hassling. Japan have introduced their own variations — not=20 always effective — to the lineouts to such a degree that=20 we were entertained by the bizarre sight of the elongated=20 2,12m Welsh policeman Derwyn Jones being penalised for=20 lifting against them.=20

There has also been the heartwarming sight of Manu Samoa=20 pulverising Italy 42-18 and then coming from behind against=20 the massive pack of the more fancied Argentina to pull off=20 of a memorable 32-26 victory, which put the South Sea=20 Islanders into the knockout stages.=20

But the lingering visual high has been the sight of All=20 Black Jonah Lomu at pace. Power and speed in one=20 blockbusting package.=20

No, England’s dismal showing in a ponderous performance=20 against the Pumas where only Rob Andrew’s boot saw them=20 through as 24-18 winners apart, there have been few real=20 low points.=20

And, in truth, the tournament proper only starts at the=20 quarter-finals. For, whoever lifts the William Webb Ellis=20 Trophy on June 24, will have had to have reached the=20 knockout stages to do so.=20

There must have been some low points along the way. The=20 layers which make up the game of rugby football will have=20 made certain that this is so.=20