Janet Wilhelm
Appearance: Historically disadvantaged patriarch with a penchant for dark designer suits and flash cars.
Must be difficult to belong to a disadvantaged group? Not if you had the job of bantustan (sorry, homeland, sorry, independent state) leader. As Bophuthatswana president he consoled himself with lavish government spending — and evidence to the Skweyiya Commission suggests he cheered himself up by making life extra cosy for himself as well.
How’s that? Apart from plain insanity like a never-used R177-million power station, erstwhile minions have given evidence of millions allegedly diverted abroad and to his political party, plus R6-million spent on a farm and the family home.
Pay-back time is it? With the Skweyiya report due today expect the third chapter in the saga, entitled: The Crucifixion.
What were the others? The Charge Of The Cavalry in 1988 when General Geldenhuys and “our boys” saved him from Rocky Malebane-Metsing’s coup attempt. The Last Days Of Mmabatho last year when “his people” demonstrated their antipathy by indulging in a little mayhem, and his only support was a bunch of ill-disciplined AWB okes.
Sounds humiliating? His life has lacked pizzazz ever since he appeared on television in his pyjamas thanking Baas Pik for saving him from Rocky. But he’s surviving. He’s still living in the Motswedi house. Spare change allows for a chauffeur-driven C-class Merc.
So he’s kept his cool? Except for that lapse a few weeks ago when he brought down a traditional Tswana curse on the advocate leading evidence against him.
A little indiscretion. What’s his best folly? Hard to choose. The 29 cars, including two bullet-proof ones? The marble-halled, pink-hued Mmabatho presidential pad? The Holland Park house? The Louis XVI furniture in Paris? Nah. Let’s give it to the Mmabatho bunker with enough batteries to see out a 10-year siege.
Alternative best folly? To dream, scheme and cling to the illusion that Bop was a real country.
Another great folly? The vision of the farmers happily wading around paddy fields and the endeavour with Taiwan to train locals to grow rice in the desert.
Recognition at last? Even Taiwan balked at the end.
Most likely to say: “I’m being persecuted. I endorse the RDP — which incidentally was started by me 17 years ago. We built schools and gave people water.”
And what do the beneficiaries of this benevolence say? “Just give us the overseas account numbers and we’ll invite you to the party.”