What do all the slogans mean to volunteers dealing with Aids and their families, asks Dolar Vasani
THE theme of World Aids Day on December 1 – One World, One Hope – ties in with the spirit of volunteerism that is observed on December 5, International Volunteer Day. One focuses on a current epidemic, the other on the contributions volunteers are making to address such issues. The intersection of the two can also become personal.
“Jonathan”, a United Nations volunteer, worked as a logistics officer for the UN mission in the Caribbean; prior to that he completed assignments in Angola, Mozambique and South Africa. As with most humanitarian relief postings, he went to the Caribbean unaccompanied, leaving behind his wife, “Faith”, and two small children.
Jonathan was being repatriated on medical grounds to his home in central Africa when he died in transit. He was 36. The death certificate declared the cause of death as “Aids-related illness, respiratory arrest and pneumonia”.
After his death, the bureaucratic nightmare began. I was entrusted with the responsibility of taking the body and personal effects to his family. While waiting for customs clearance, I paid my respects to Faith. Initially the atmosphere seemed calm but tense. Faith had spoken to her husband only two weeks before but, though she knew he was ill, she never expected such a home-coming.
Our journey to his parents’ home in a small village was a bumpy ride filled with silence. Relatives and friends were waiting at the unfinished house, built with their son’s modest earnings as a volunteer. Women cried openly, expressing their sadness and disbelief that the man who had been home three months ago was now back for good. In a society where silence prevails over the issue of Aids, I wondered if the true reasons for his death would ever be known. What kind of talk would go around the community, and what would this mean to those who were close to him?
Besides losing a husband, Faith now also has the unenviable and difficult task of managing the broader issues that surround his death, such as addressing the expectations and demands of the family in terms of his estate. How will she ensure that her own family benefits before those who were related to him as son, brother, uncle or nephew?
All this raised other difficult questions. How does a woman cope with the ongoing costs of losing her spouse in an environment where she is often marginalised, victimised and ostracised by her in-laws and extended family? This stigmatised disease has many human and hidden costs, but how do we find ways of measuring them or quantifying their impact?
The experience raised more questions and personal dilemmas than I had anticipated. It was easy to understand that in a society where Aids is such a sensitive and unspoken curse, families continue to remain in denial. But what does that mean to the effectiveness of Aids prevention and control programmes?
This dilemma illuminates the continuing need to address the many facets of the disease at a social, economic and political level.
— Dolar Vasani is UN Volunteers’ co- ordinator in South Africa
Nelson’s letter to Walter was delayed in the post this week