Angella Johnson : VIEW FROM A BROAD
It is a cold Saturday afternoon and Rasheda Pahad’s hands are deep in the dough she is kneading to make vetkoek. A pan of oil is bubbling away on the stove in the kitchen attached to her tiny living room.
Pahad’s husband and their two young children have been dispatched to entertain themselves elsewhere. The next few hours will be strictly for women only – 16 are expected to cram into this compact Florida town house for a product-selling party.
But first the rotund saleswoman, Jennifer (“No surname name please, I’m in the phone book and perverts might ring me”), arrives panting from the exertion of lugging a heavy suitcase full of goodies.
She unpacks in the privacy of the master bedroom. But wait, there is not a Tupperware container, cosmetic or slimming product in sight!
The goodies tumbling from her blue case are the kind that would have to be delivered in thick black plastic bags. She describes what she has unpacked as the “hardware” collection -dildos and vibrators in all shapes and sizes.
This is not exactly what one would expect to find in the home of a good Muslim woman, even one sporting chic bobbed hair and wearing casual pants and an outsize jumper. Surely there is some People against Gangsterism and Drugs-style group to monitor such an infraction?
“This is the kind of thing,” declares Jennifer brandishing an enormous latex replica of some American porn actor’s prized asset (Oh my!), “that really gets the women going. Many are hoping to pluck up enough courage to buy a vibrator version. Even if they pretend it’s for a friend.”
I am still trying to restore my composure after fondling this flexible shaft when Pahad (not her real name) disappears into her bedroom and re-emerges with a broad grin and a penis-shaped candle.
”My husband hates this,” she giggles. “He enjoys the sexy underwear, the videos, books and other things, but he won’t let me get a vibrator. I think some men feel threatened because they feel they should be enough for the woman.”
But why does she feel a need to buy a sex toy?
“Because I think it is a good idea for women to experiment and find different ways of enjoying their sexual relationships. These parties are fun. It’s quite liberating to be able to see what’s available and choose something me and my husband will enjoy,” she replies.
After eight years flogging sex products and titillating underwear (the lingerie selection is particularly popular), Jennifer feels parties like this put her at the forefront of a sexual revolution in South Africa.
“It is not often people from the Indian or coloured community, especially Muslims, throw these kinds of parties. It’s not part of their culture. But I did one for Rasheda’s sister last year and it went well, so they’ve invited me back.”
Pahad explains that her interest was sparked after a white work colleague invited her to a similar party. “It was really an eye-opener, because in my community we were not exposed to such things. It’s nothing to do with religion. We just didn’t know about it.”
Now this mother of two seems bent on spreading the word like some born-again evangelist. This is her third such party.
At 6pm the guests begin to trickle in. Soon the room is heaving with laughing twenty- somethings, spilling from chairs on to the floor.
Jennifer is in her element as comic entertainer (blue jokes serve as a good ice-breaker) and sex enjoyment adviser, as she cajoles the women to part with their cash.
“I only sell something I have faith in,” she tells them. “First I try out all the products with my partner, Mark – everything from the lotions and potions to the vibrators and gadgets.”
Somehow I could not picture this reformed anorexic squeezing her ample frame into some of the skimpy lingerie she brings out as the first part of her display. Wispy G- string sets with racy names like The Can Can and Peek-a-boo are the core of her sales.
Novelties like ice-cube trays with sexy shapes, flavoured lubricants and blow-up sheep with working orifices – very popular for men’s 40th birthday gifts and bachelor parties – bring squeals of delight from the women, who are giggly, but not too boisterous.
“That’s because they are drinking colddrinks and not alcohol, which is very un- usual at a party,” explains Jennifer during a brief toilet break. “Also, they are quite young. Women in their 30s are much more confident about having fun.”
But even the most subdued guest squeals with embarrassed delight when the vibrators are whipped out of their boxes. (This was nothing compared to the cacophony that erupted in our office some days later, when Jennifer brought in her wares.)
Humming stimulators like Roger the Rabbit (the Porsche of vibrators) and Danny the Dolphin (widely regarded as the Rolls Royce) were fondled unashamedly by Pahad’s friends. I later learned that 99% of them only bought lingerie.
There is even a hand-held rubber toy to simulate oral sex. But my favourite is the smooth white plastic egg with remote control, which I can imagine some woman inserting before attending a particularly boring meeting.
Eighty per cent of the parties are aimed at women, but Jennifer also holds sessions for couples (a big trend, but rather difficult because the men get too embarrassed), straight guys and for homosexual groups.
Customers include staff at Sun City, nightclub workers, swingers’ parties, book clubs, nurses and northern suburb housewives.
“Gay men’s parties are the best because they are more open about their sexuality and willing to experiment,” says Jennifer.
She refuses to tell me who owns her company. “He’s very well known and does not want people to know he is in the sex industry.” But she says at least two other companies offer the same titillating pleasures.
Jennifer believes her job is to educate people about what is out there. She wants to take the seedy out of the sex industry. “Lots of women have a low stimulation level and a vibrator can stimulate her to a higher intensity. It also helps men who are impotent.”
Her point is brought home with the story of an older woman whose daughter had attended a party. “The mother rang to say that after 17 years of marriage, she was growing apart from her husband. Their sex life had become boring.
“I recommended a couple of sex toys and some weeks later she called to say it was like being newly-weds again. Now the woman regularly buys new products.”
According to Jennifer, there are a lot of sexually unsatisfied women out there. “Sometimes the partner doesn’t know she has a vibrator because it is kept hidden in a cupboard and only used when he’s out playing golf or working late at the office.”
But, she stresses, it cannot replace a man.
I dunno. It depends on the man. Or how desperate you are.