Loose cannon: Robert Kirby It is with grim amusement that we have watched the lumbering egg-dance – or should we rather say egg-toyi-toyi – which has attended the release of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s (TRC) final report. As a display of professional political hypocrisy, this one has been a winner all the way.
First it was FW de Klerk, off like an enamelled tosspot to the high court. Through his lively dust thundered the African National Congress, revealing once and for all that its cherished permutation of democratic probity is actually something Ronnie Kasrils bought in one of those East European closing-down sales he still likes to haunt.
It came supplied in a small grey tin, complete with instructions: having applied thinly, screw cap on firmly and store in a cool, dry place until needed again.
If the ANC’s breathless action in seeking an interdict against publication of the TRC’s report wasn’t enough of an embarrassment, then came the denials as to who was responsible for having set this particular goblin free.
Once Desmond Tutu and the white racist media had pointed out what a sumptuously foolish manoeuvre it had been, the ANC wainscotting began to bulge as senior cockchafers tried to scuttle out of the light.
Curiously, it fell to the SABC to strike one of the most stinging blows – as usual, quite by mistake.
No sooner had the ANC’s interdict been denied than all the mischievous Quatro horrors popped up into view. And good old Ulster Spuck’s television news programme ran some fairly recent television footage of a plangent Thabo Mbeki who, spreading his arms in eloquent integrity, declared that, as far as what happened in the ANC’s Angolan camps was concerned, “… there simply is nothing to hide”.
Now, why does this gentle dismissal make me think of another recent and even more famous one? The one in which ran: “I have never had a sexual relationship with that woman.”
Despite its beguilingly literal exterior, this was a statement with a shadowed marrow. As Bill Clinton patiently explained to us later, all he was saying was that he didn’t actually stick his cock into Monica Lewinsky herself because there was a cigar in the way. He only stuck it into her mouth.
As a direct result of that splendid example of how a politician’s assurances can be deconstructed by the skilful levering of totally contradictory absolutes, the United States Congress is currently spending millions of dollars in trying to find out whether Clinton’s explanation of which orifice used in sexual penetration of a woman amounts to an impeachable offence.
Following exactly the same commendable example, I think Mbeki’s assurances that there was “simply nothing to hide” in the Quatro camps deserves as diligent and unbiased an analysis.
Like the Lewinsky-Clinton business, arguments would be reductive of two main testimonies as to what amounts to “simply nothing to hide”; those of Mbeki and those of the TRC. Like Clinton and Lewinsky, it’s his word against hers.
What adds to the speculative fun is that by such obvious rejection of what the TRC has now published as truth, Mbeki is in effect questioning the integrity of a body of which his own political party has been the most strident defender.
It must be like shooting yourself in the foot and having the foot immediately shoot back at you.
After shooting, next comes the blood. Last weekend’s newspapers dripped with it. But they also reported on an equally anguished quarrel – the one about the recent judgment by the British High Court refusing to allow prosecution to go ahead against General Augusto Pinochet.
The judges agreed with the defence submission which contended that, since Pinochet’s “alleged” crimes (United Nations Category 3A: Genocide and/or Mass Political Torture & Murder) were “allegedly” committed when he was a head of state, he enjoyed a sovereign immunity.
John Carlin, writing from Europe, commented along the lines that this would have been a fine argument to present to their lordships should Adolf Hitler have survived and later come over to London for some geriatric care.
Still, the generous British judges have set a most exploitable precedent. If you were the leader of a state when all the unavoidable atrocities were tumbling down, all you now have to do to escape retribution is totter off hastily to a London clinic for a quick liver overhaul and wait for some well-meaning fool to try to arrange for your punishment.
One hopes this agreeable sanction may be extended to include future as well as past leaders. I’d book my ticket just in case.