David le Page
Product: ICQ free e-mail software. Requirements: PowerMac or 68K Mac; 486-SX or higher PC; Windows 3.11, Win95 or WinNT3.5/4.0; any Java-enabled computer
As the great South African diaspora continues, it becomes increasingly likely that we lingering diehards have not only obscure and happily forgotten relations overseas, but also a number of people for whom we quite recently had the warm fuzzies.
A few years ago, we would have written to these people every few months. Now we regularly e-mail them, exchanging intimacies, crass tales of the decline of the new South Africa and – if we are truly feeble-minded – chain letters.
But what if we ache for some more intimate sense of their continued grasp of the mortal coil? How can we be sure, minute to minute, without spending a fortune on international calls, that they are alive, well and ready for the kind of meaningless, trivial dialogue that is the true currency of any long-term relationship?
The answer lies in an amazing little piece of software developed by Israeli company Mirabilis – ICQ (“I seek you”). Installed on one’s computer desktop, ICQ provides a little menu in which you will soon come to have a list of names of those acquaintances blessed with Internet connectedness.
That menu shows in blue the names of those currently online and ready to receive a short message in an instant. In red are the names of those offline. Different symbols indicate just how online they are – if they depart their desk for a couple of minutes, or suspend the massage of their keyboard, this is transmitted instantly to the distant voyeur. It’s almost like having remote video cameras watching over all those far-flung acquaintances and oneself, but they can still pick their noses without self-consciousness.
More than that, you have the advantage of knowing that you can send a message and have it received instantly, unlike conventional e- mail.
You can engage each other in online chat, pick up like-minded souls in online foray, and shut out the lurking perverts – unless you are one – with simple security options.
Sending each other files is a cinch, and even if someone is offline, you can drop them a note knowing they’ll get it when they return. ICQ will also watch your e-mailbox and alert you when new messages are received.
The possibilities of intra-office intrigue are also magnified – in an open office environment you can “whisper” to each other behind the backs of those standing right next to you. Just be sure you don’t click on the name of the wrong person when dispatching such messages – but, of course, pretending to have done so offers splendid opportunities for disinformation.
ICQ is still free of charge, though it is such an invaluable tool Mirabilis could probably charge for it quite easily without provoking any resentment. Certainly the leviathan software vendors are making obscene amounts of money from far inferior products.
There are similar products out there on the Net, but this is by far the best and most popular. Given that Mirabilis was recently purchased by America Online, I suggest you acquire ICQ while it remains freely available, at .