Friday night
Hlomla Dandala
For a young black male looking for a beautiful partner to spend an afternoon with, and perhaps the night if you are lucky, Wits girls’ residence is the place to go. Arm yourself with a BMW, a cellphone and a Gold Card.
First stop is Time Square in Rockey Street, Yeoville. If you’re driving, watch out. There are very unique and strange local rules for the road the advantage is that you can sit out the Friday afternoon traffic. The restaurant also acts as a half-way house for where the next party is. The food is decent enough – try the Zira, a greasy dough and cheese thingamajig.
The company is very mixed. There are people arguing about African renaissance and the importance of dreadlocks in the private sector. A word of warning though, don’t stay until sunset. Fist-fights and other close encounters are not foreign to the vicinity.
So the sundowner takes place in Sandton Square with the tourists and those who like to be seen. The restaurant is Trumps. If you are a regular, Terry or Rambo (yes, that’s his name), will give you a very nice table.
A ”Hooch” or a glass of Drostdyhof will give you the right image without getting you to say something you don’t really want. They also have quite a range of meals. Most are very tasty (I know, I’ve tried them), but the really goos chicken can be found across the courtyard at the Nando’s restaurant.
For entertainment, you can have a conversation with your partner, or you can watch babies chase pigeons around the fountain, mothers smacking them, etcetera, etcetera, or maybe catch a few people’s reactions as pigeons jump on to tables for their share of their meal.
You might have to throw your weight around a little bit to get attention from the waiters, but once you do, they will give you great service.
After Trumps, one has to go and see the latest movie release. Sandton City is the worst place to catch an 8pm movie, because the crowds are impossible to swim through. So that’s exactly where we go. We watch a spectacular action movie with a high death toll just to remove our minds from our crime- infested country.
By now, traffic has decreased significantly, except for the occasional evening accident on the M1, just to remind us that it is indeed the beginning of a weekend.
The time is 10.30pm and the only decent place that still has an open kitchen is Buzz 9, Melville. The tricky part about this, or any other Melville hangout, is the parking. As if that’s not bad enough, when you get into the restaurant, all the tables are taken except for the one right at the door, where anyone walking in bumps into you, literally. Order a ”Smoothie” and some ”Nacho chips”.
Keep eyeing the other tables in case they look like they’re about to leave. Smile and enjoy. By the end of the evening I am at home thinking of all the money I spent. I should have cooked …
Hlomla Dandala appears in SABC3’s popular soapie Isidingo