FACup
Andrew Muchineripi Soccer
For FA Cup read Bob Save Super Bowl, for Manchester United read Kaizer Chiefs, for Newcastle United read SuperSport United.
The Red Devils defeated the Magpies 2-0 on the green turf of Wembley last Saturday and it would come as no surprise if the Amakhosi triumph by the same margin this Saturday.
The victory for United completed the second leg of a treble bid as they had clinched the English Premiership six days before with a come-from-behind 2-1 victory over Tottenham at the Old Trafford Theatre of Dreams.
Avictory for Chiefs would also complete the second leg of a treble as they pipped Sundowns in a penalty shoot out at a wet FNB Stadium last November to lift the Rothmans Cup.
Newcastle entered the FA Cup final desperate to rescue a season that had seen manager Ruud Gullit spend millions of rand without any silverware to show for it. SuperSport have had an equally indifferent domestic season, losing to Bush Bucks in the first round of the Rothmans Cup and finishing eighth on the Castle Premiership standings, with 11 wins, 13 draws and 10 defeats.
The similarities do not end there, as United are as big in England as Chiefs are in South Africa. Both are successful on the field because of strength in depth, and off it they cash in on the popularity.
However, while United coach Alex Ferguson stands on the sideline in his black anorak, chewing gum and exchanging opinions with his technical team, Paul Dolezar of Chiefs acts like a heart attack waiting to happen.
The French-speaking native of Yugoslavia cannot stand still for more than 10 seconds and never stops attempting to instruct his players either with words that no one can hear or frantic hand movements that no one can understand.
Ruud Gullit and Roy Matthews, coaches of Newcastle and SuperSport respectively, are not exactly peas from the same pod either, with Gullit a flashy man about town and Matthews a thoughtful, retiring fiftysomething.
While Gullit can be seen in the nightclubs of London and Amsterdam with the daughter of former Dutch star Johan Cruyff, Matthews is more likely to sip a pint with a few friends.
So much for the figures on the periphery. Who are the potential matchwinners and can SuperSport stop a black-and-gold juggernaut that has won 14 of its last 15 league and cup encounters?
Chiefs should win because, man for man, they have superior footballers, but SuperSport could win because they have sufficient good players to cause an upset provided they click and some Amakhosi stars fail to do so.
Chiefs also have the psychological advantage of defeating SuperSport 4-2 and 2-0 in the Premiership this season after several seasons of battling to dominate the Pretoria-based club.
Any discussion about potential match winners must involve Doctor Khumalo and Thabang Lebese of Chiefs and Thomas Madigage and Michael Araujo of SuperSport.
The evidence of recent visits by Bafana Bafana to Denmark, Trinidad and Tobago and Jamaica suggests that the international career of the good Doctor has reached its end.
However, there was sufficient proof in the recent Premiership victory over Santos that Khumalo can still do the business at domestic level and needs to be closely monitored.
Interestingly, the man who could be assigned to mark him is Linda Buthelezi, a teammate of the Doctor in the 1996 Bafana Bafana African Nations Cup-winning team.
Lebese is the Mika Hakkenin of South African football, a turbo-charged midfielder who must rank as the best current player not to wear Bafana Bafana colours.
If only he could match his explosive pace with better finishing. Against Santos he was more likely to hit the kiosk behind the Johannesburg Stadium seats than the net.
Madigage is no stranger to Bob Save finals, having played for the losing Jomo Cosmos teams of 1991 and 1992 and the SuperSport United team beaten 3-2 by Cape Town Spurs four years ago.
Madigage has been one of the disappointments of the 1990s, a right-side midfielder who has never fulfilled his promise, with only four Bafana Bafana call-ups. But Chiefs ignore him at their peril.
Araujo is the sort of player South African fans adore. He will run at defenders all afternoon, often beat them, and he scored a superb goal with a curving shot against Chiefs in the Premiership this season.
So what does this humble member of the Muchineripi clan make of it all? I must opt for the safe route and predict Chiefs to win an exciting, low-scoring final. Ah, well, there goes my chance of a free decoder from the channel of champions!