In an international scoop, we have obtained the authentic transcript of the telephone conversation between Hansie Cronje and the London bookmaker that resulted in Cronje receiving $8 200 for match “forecasting”.
Shan: Hello, Hansie? Shan here, calling from London. Did Joe tell you I’d be calling?
Hansie: Hello Shan, nice to meet you. Yes, Joe said you would call. I … just hold on for a minute please … [minute’s silence]. Hi, I’m back – I just went outside where it’s quieter. How’s the weather in London?
Shan: Fine, fine. So what’s your forecast for the game against Zimbabwe tomorrow?
Hansie: It looks like it’ll be hot and muggy – always is in Durban. But no rain.
Shan: I was thinking more of a match forecast … you know, like, we need to make some decisions today.
Hansie: Well, I had a look at the pitch earlier – it’s looking good. A few cracks at the pavilion end, but nothing that would excite Tony Greig.
Shan: Hansie, I need a bit more – you’re starting to sound like Shane Warne.
Hansie: Well, I can tell you that the outfield will be pretty fast … unless we bat second, then the dew will slow things down a bit.
Shan: Hmm, can you be more specific? Like, it would make for an interesting series if Zimbabwe were to win, right?
Hansie: Anything’s possible in these one- dayers, Shan. There’s 22 guys out there – actually only 13, because the others are sitting in the pavilion – and anything can happen. We’ll play it hard, but fair.
Shan: Hansie, what exactly did Joe tell you when he briefed you?
Hansie: He said you’d be ringing for some forecasts about tomorrow’s match, and if I helped you out, he’ll give me $10 000 to $15 000 in the car park after the match tomorrow night.
Shan: Uh-huh. What else?
Hansie: That’s it … No, I’m not being entirely truthful, he also said “Good luck”.
Shan: What about your players – how many of them are going to play ball?
Hansie: All of them Shan – this is a cricket match, you know – we don’t use skittles [chuckle].
Shan: I don’t have that much to go on, Hansie. Don’t you think you need to rest some of your front-line bowlers carrying niggling injuries? Is Rhodes likely to bowl?
Hansie: No, Donald’s fine and keen to get stuck in. Pollock’s thigh has responded to treatment and he should get through his 10 overs – so I don’t think I’ll need to call on Jonty [chuckle].
Shan: Hansie, it’s getting close to deadline – I’ll need a more definite forecast, like – Zimbabwe are a surprise package, right? They can beat any team on their day, what with Johnson, Olonga and that chicken farmer and all?
Hansie: What you say is true, Shan, anything can happen in one-day cricket – that’s the beauty of the game. We’ll play it hard and fair out there, and without excessive and unfair sledging like the Australians.
Shan: Okay, Hansie, look: I normally only pay out on results, but in this case I’m prepared to make an exception – I’ll arrange for Joe to drop off your $10 000 to $15 000 tonight before the match – enjoy!
Hansie: Gee, thanks, Shan! Now I’ll be able to get Bertha those solid gold bathroom taps for our new house at Fancourt … no, on second thoughts, I think I’ll keep the money under my bed at home – Ali Bacher might want to see it sometime.
Shan: Cheers Hansie, and may the best team win. Say hi to Ray. [End of extract.]