Nicky Holford
BODY LANGUAGE
Carol Esslemont remembers lying in a mud bath in Abano Terme, a small spa town near Padova in northern Italy. She’d left her children and husband at home in Britain but she didn’t feel guilty. “About five years ago I started going on holiday alone,” she says. “At first I felt guilty for a few days, now I don’t waste so much time.”
Women are travelling alone. Not just single women, but mothers and wives are finding the benefits of taking time out for themselves. A survey done for insurers Directline.com reveals that not only are more women travelling alone, but that many of them are leaving their husbands and children behind.
“I don’t go to get away from my family,” explains Esslemont, “but I love the time to myself. I’m 47 in May, had my first child at 17 and was always, and still am, family orientated. But for that little moment in time, 10 days, it was just me and I didn’t have to worry about anyone. I just took a break from all the problems and worries and stresses and it was fantastic.”
Esslemont’s break in northern Italy set up a pattern of holidaying alone which she looks forward to every year. She’s planning another 10-day break in July.
“At first I was scared to go by myself and felt a bit selfish. But it did my confidence a lot of good. I felt I was thrown in at the deep end, but I’ve made a lot of friends from all over the world. It was such a polarisation in as much as I’d done everything for my family and suddenly I discovered this other world where you just had to be responsible for yourself and it was so refreshing.”
Juggling home, family and work is a lifestyle many women are accustomed to, but more and more realise that to remain sane they need time to themselves. “Women today are different from my mother’s generation,” says Anita Avery, who works as an office manager and personal assistant for a marketing company and is married with two children. “It’s important to feel good about yourself and you are not just there to look after everybody else. I’ve noticed many of my friends are going away on their own or with girlfriends. You have to make time to do things for yourself. It’s a way of staying sane. I think your family appreciates you more if you do make time for yourself.”
Avery first went on a short break alone when treated to a few days at a health spa. “Since then, I’ve noticed that a lot of my friends take short breaks on their own. I think women now are thinking: ‘I do have some money and it’s important to do something for myself.’ A friend of mine goes to New York on shopping trips. This November I’m going, too.”
The survey shows many changing trends in holiday habits. Not only are more women leaving their loved ones behind, but they are also booking more holidays on the Internet. According to the survey taken of 15- to 65-year-olds across Britain, 53% of women book their holiday online compared with 47% of men. Barbara Mclaughlin, who takes one holiday herself and another with her partner, says she will probably book her main holiday on the Internet.
“The Internet means you can access companies abroad, it gives you much more information. It’s a much more convenient way of doing business.” Mclaughlin, who runs a regeneration initiative in Hume, Manchester, knows how important quality time to herself is. “I work very long hours and weekends. My job could be 24 hours a day if I let it. It’s a job I love but it’s both time and mentally consuming. ”
Four out of five women interviewed in the survey said arguments increase most when couples go on holiday. “It’s not surprising,” says Avery. “At home, most couples go out to work for eight hours or more a day then on holiday you are suddenly together for 24 hours. My husband and I went to the Caribbean for two weeks and the first week we argued the entire time.
“That’s why when you go on your own it’s so easy. I find many of my friends in their mid-30s go away. You get to that stage where you have your family and are in a long-term relationship and there’s no harm in having a bit of time to do what you want and catch up with friends.”
As package holiday giant Thomson Travel recently launched a recovery strategy to stem falling profits and see off a hostile takeover bid, debates raged over the death of the package holiday. It’s clear there’s been a fundamental change in what we want from our holidays. The lone woman traveller has no intention of languishing in Benidorm, so Thomson and their like would do well to sit up and take note. After all, she’s where the profits are.