Within days of the attack on the United States, women were drooling over Bin Laden
BODY LANGUAGE
Rehana Rossouw
Now that the shock and heartbreak of the attack on the United States has subsided, it seems appropriate to analyse another issue that has triggered heated debate in recent weeks: why some women find Osama bin Laden sexy.
I think anyone who has any doubts that men and women are different and can never be equal, should listen to them talk about war. Men tend to talk about the range of the missiles most likely to be used, while women tend to speculate on the size of the equipment of the men heading off to war.
Within days of the attack on the United States, I began hearing women drool over Bin Laden. At first, the panting came from the kind of women I had grown up with who knew it was possible for a man to wear a flowing robe and still be rampantly heterosexual.
A few days after September 11 I received a telephone call from a friend in Cape Town. She told me how she had walked into a crowded shop in Rylands (a former Indian suburb) with a copy of the Mail & Guardian in her hand, and how the female customers went crazy with lust when they saw Bin Laden’s face on the cover.
“One woman, who said she was 65 years old, told me every time she looked at a photo of Bin Laden, she went weak at the knees,” my friend reported. “Another old woman said she had not been so turned on in years. All the Muslim women I know are going gaga over Osama.”
It took a few more days before Christian women started commenting to me how sexy the Muslim terrorist was. Their initial remarks were centred on his eyes: “How soulful they are.”
Christian women also suggested that Bin Laden shave off his beard so that they can “see more of the gorgeous face underneath”. This shows how ignorant they are about Muslim martyr-type guys a beard is de rigeur in those circles, and so is the explosives packed around the torso and the AK at the side.
Women are wondering why Bin Laden poses his AK so strategically at his photo opportunities. Is it perhaps another subliminal reference to the size of his equipment?
Christian women are also intrigued by polygamy and ask whether he has his four wives allowed by Islam or whether there are vacancies in his harem.
Polygamists, in my experience, are not the sexiest men in Islam who have to marry more than one woman because there are so many throwing themselves at their feet. I know of several men who are definitely not God (or Allah’s) gift to womankind who have more than one wife. Polygamy is also no indicator of virility, alas.
Our speculation mounted on September 25 when the British press published the outome of a graphologist’s analysis of Bin Laden’s handwriting. The content of the missive they studied is forgotten it was probably another promise to slaughter Americans but many women only recall that the expert said he had a “huge libido”.
Caroline Murray, one of a team of graphologists to examine his fax said: “He seems to have an above-average libido. He has to discharge this energy. If it gets too pent up he has to release it and he may go into a frenzy. He’s a rebellious individualist and a non-conformist with a hedonistic drive for stimulation. Anticipation of punishment doesn’t stop him.”
But, she warned: “He’s obviously got a huge ego. He may suffer from an inferiority complex and is over-compensating through aggression and violence.”
So what we have here is a man in a flowing robe that could mask the most absurd pot belly or knobbly knees. We have a beard that could hide the most awful acne craters or a weak chin. We have a man who speaks a language we don’t understand but sounds sexily guttural. For all we know, Osama could be constantly ranting about a woman’s place which the Taliban thinks is chained to a kitchen sink.
Then there’s Osama’s rival, George W Bush. The kindest thing I’ve heard anyone say about his looks or charisma is: “He looks like Rose in the Golden Girls, poor thing.”
A colleague and I were speculating that the reason George W looks so strange is because his shoulders aren’t broad enough. But then we went to look at a photo of him and George W seems to have wider than average shoulders.
So why don’t we feel that we can lean on him? The conclusion from several women I’ve spoken to is that George W’s head is not proportionate to his body. It’s too small. And I’ve never, ever met a woman who is turned on by men with small heads.
What does all of this say about women? Not much and nothing new, I’m afraid. I could attempt an anthropological explanation about the survival of the species and how women are genetically programmed to seek out strong men to father their children, but that would not be true.
I think a truer explanation of why some women are turned on by Bin Laden is so obvious, so trite and so pathetic: as was indicated by US opinion polls during Bill Clinton’s lecherous last term in office some women just love a villain.