About 90 children who have been affected by HIV/Aids recently had a chance to tell their stories
Barry Streek
“Please can I have a doll and a dummy for my doll, because then I can play with my doll in my mother’s room and near her grave. The doll will be my friend because I don’t have friends because they say I am dirty,” a child whose mother died of Aids recently told a meeting of government officials and parliamentarians.
This was one of the chilling statements made by 90 children between the ages of seven and 18 years who had either been infected by HIV/Aids or whose parents had been infected.
They included children who had been infected through mother-to-child transmission and through sexual abuse, children who were caring for sick and dying parents, children heading households, children who had been forced to live on the streets, children living in children’s homes and hospices and children who had been orphaned by Aids.
The children, from all over South Africa, attended the National Children’s Forum on HIV/Aids, held between August 22 and 24 this year in Cape Town. They came to talk to each other, to researchers and to decision-makers about how the disease affects their lives.
Their statements have been incorporated in a document that has been submitted to Parliament’s joint monitoring committee on the improvement of the quality of life and the status of women in its public hearings on “How best can South Africa address the horrific impact of HIV/Aids on women and girls?”
The Children’s Institute at the University of Cape Town, which coordinated the document, said the children’s life stories, artwork, essays, poetry and drama would continue to inform its work to ensure informed decision-making and to promote the realisation of children’s rights.
The children spoke about how they face verbal abuse and discrimination in schools: “The children bully and tease you and that makes you sad. They push you and they don’t like me. This makes me want to stop going to school, because my mom has Aids.”
“I can’t go to school because my mother can’t afford to pay my school fees. This has been for three years now. Each time I go, my teachers send me away,” another child said.
The children also spoke of abuse and discrimination at health care facilities: “Sometimes people are turned away by nurses who tell them there’s no medicine Sometimes they get angry when we ask questions about HIV they say we are too young to ask.”
The children spoke about abuse and discrimination in their communities: “People think it [HIV/Aids] is a punishment for being naughty … People move away from you in a taxi and they wipe the seat. People gossip about you.”
“Some churches think that a person with Aids is a sinner and they gossip and don’t love you like before.”
Sexual abuse is a major concern to children who attended the forum: “When your brother, father, uncle has HIV-positive, they are sleeping with us because they think that HIV-positive is cleaned by children.”
Some of the children spoke of their suffering after their mothers died: “If a person has HIV/Aids it is bad if it is your mother because there is no one to look after you. When people realise that the child’s mother is going to die they begin to abuse the child.”
“My father stopped loving us shortly after our mother passed away. He used to make us sleep under the tree. Never used to buy food. My brother does not want to go back home again. My father fights us when he is drunk.”
Many of the children who attended the forum are caregivers and breadwinners in their households. Jason lives alone with his six-year-old sister, Cindy. Jason walks a long distance, with his sister on his back, to fetch water and firewood. Jason also cooks and cleans the house. He keeps his sister clean and comfortable. The nearest adults are his neighbours.
“I used to work and get late for school and then get hit, four or five strokes. I do not have parents. After school I herd cattle and goats. Sometimes I do not go to school. I work for my uncle and people in the village.”