Bjork, Mullets and Winnie the Pooh in a foul mood

You know that feeling when looking for a telephone number and a bizarre name happens to catch your eye - well, you’re not alone. Have a look at a collection of names at The Funny Name Server ...

And in keeping with this week’s ‘silly season’ theme, data junkies will rejoice at the oodles of info to be gleaned from Useless Knowledge.

If you’re in need of some surreal and bizarrely fun photo-cartoons, with captions in a Far Side vein, head over to Photo Cartoons.

Then if you’re feeling in the mood to help online campaigns - or even to start your own petition (return of the death penalty, anyone?) go to the amazingly slick and useful Petition Site.

If you’ve been following this column over time, you’ll have spotted the occasional site for airline ‘sick bags’.
So here’s the latest site, where designers have been given free rein to come up with interesting and fun designs for those paper bags to be used when you’re on an aeroplane and what’s inside just has to come out. Run green-faced to Design For Chunks!

The classic Internet text file about what happens when you combine drug-induced homicidal killing sprees with one of the world’s most loved children’s characters is finally on a website. Be warned that this is not for kids, is in appallingly bad taste, and just happens to be rather howlingly funny and deeply offensive to any Winnie the Pooh fans. So wipe your nose, pick up a weapon to protect yourself in the Hundred Acre Wood, and go discover what happens ... When Pooh Goes Apeshit!

Given it’s bah-humbug Christmas. For an incredible site of alternative fun gifts - ranging from Alien Garden Gnomes through to self-playing violins, edible handcuffs and sushi-candy - do yourself a favour and go drool over the sort of gifts you’d REALLY want someone to give you, at Unique and Unusual Gifts.

Ring-sting time. Sorry, always wanted to say that in a public place. Here’s a Lord of the Rings fan page that looks so good, it equals the official site - go browse There And Back Again.

Despite how the plebs on radio and the media locally pronounce her name, it’s actually pronounced ‘bee ack’, not ‘bork’ or any other weird variation. She’s eccentric, thoughtful and has been one talented, odd and cute babe since her early days with the Sugar Cubes. Go browse through her official site at Bjork. Then to slow down her salary, browse for MP3s via http at MP3 Finder.

(Useful big hint of the year - when facing Java pop-up windows that can’t seem to be closed, hit CTRL and ‘W’ to close them.) There’s a frightening hairstyle that’s close to what you may have seen locally on people walking around with haircuts from barbers who seem trapped in the 1970s - take a look at Rate My Mullet! Or for another and deeper dip into this vile hairstyle, try Mullet Madness!

There’s not a lot you can do with people who think this sort of haircut is really cool - apart from hunting them down. Luckily there’s Mullet Hunters.

And for a British take on this cheerful online haircut-hate meme, The Worst Haircut.

Some people don’t realize that homicide is preferable on occasion to things like Mullet Poetry.

And after that cheerful collection, let’s take a look at a Christmas concept that makes adverts become even more moronic than usual (if that’s possible), with paid actors pretending to be idyllic families, gasping at the products on sale. First off, let’s irritate the religiously devout by showing you a site that suggests that Christmas shouldn’t really be celebrated by Christians: Pagan Origins. Then, for a decidedly different take, try The Cult of Christmas.

Now to try a more authoritative view on a lot of the utter fiction you probably grew up with concerning Christianity and Christmas, do some reading at The Pagan and Christian Origins of Christmas. And there’s more background info to be found at The Origins of Christmas, more Origins, as well as Christmas Customs.

Until the next time, if Mullets and Christians don’t get me.

Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.

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