Okay, so the Harry Potter frenzy is upon us. If you can avoid all the merchandising hype, its actually a pretty good film all by itself. Trust me. Take a look at a fan site to get you into the swing of things – Muggle Net.
America’s rapid swing away from democracy sadly continues, given the recent legislation allowing for secret ‘military tribunals’ – makes you wonder if anyone ever read ‘1984’ or ‘The Handmaiden’s Tale’. Browse through this sneaky law allowing public libraries to snoop on net users: US Libraries Surveillance ALA and Field Guide.
So friends of yours decide to cut ‘n paste a pic of you into a fake pic from the top of the World Trade Center – complete with an aeroplane hurtling in unnoticed behind you. What happens next? Suddenly your picture is on thousands of websites, and more and more people are creating fake ‘imminent death’ pictures using your pic. Take a look at a fun and bizarre new web-art created around The Tourist of Death!
You’ve always wanted to bend knives, haven’t you? I don’t mean in the chests of our local politicians – although to my mind the last person to enter Parliament with a good idea was Tsafendas. My usual homicidal prejudice aside, move over Uri Geller, because now there’s a site to help you bend cutlery the way you’ve always dreamed of. Yes, grab those junk knives you bought from the TV ads, and go to Fork You!
You’ve got time on your hands and you’re impressed by the time-lapse footage of roads and cars in a recent Madonna video, so naturally you get a camera and start moving down highways at speed and filming the results for yourself. Then it spreads and other people start sending you films of whooshing along roads at speed. Suddenly you’re famous. Put your seatbelt on and grit yer teeth at Speedy Cam!
Need an online dictionary? Thesaurus? Or some other bulky tome that would otherwise cost you a fortune to buy? Take a look through a large and valuable online resource known as The Best Free Web Reference Sites.
Meanwhile, back in ZA, nothing happened. More or less. Well, there’s always the fun to be had from sending an assortment of rude SMS’s to someone – via Funny SMS’s! Or for a ZA page with a difference (and it’s nice to see groups beyond the standard hetero-homo coming out into the open finally), take a look at a cross-dressing resource page: SA Transgender & CrossDressing.
Then for some flash of a different kind, try Orisinal Flash (no, that’s not a typo), and the surreal Levitated!
At last there’s a cunning and devious website. My Lord – the awesome comic creation of Ben Elton and Rowan Atkinson – is online at last. Take a slow stroll (and watch your back) at Black Adder Online.
Geek time. Microsoft wants to persuade you that their ‘Passport’ and ‘Wallet’ concepts are safe for your data and credit-card info online. They’re not, so get the lowdown at Hacked Microsoft and netscape.zdnet.com. IBM’s heavy-duty DES and 3DES code-making processor ability has also been cracked. (This coding is usually used for banking.) So much for secure anything online. Crypto-fans and geeks to 4758, Hack and Wired.
Let’s focus on a favourite topic of mine that doesn’t get much airing. Sex. Sex online in fact. Not the regular Java-heavy porno banners that you’re familiar with. Instead, it’s sex as your history teacher never showed you. (And we’re getting into territory that should have a ‘parental guidance suggested’ disclaimer – even though it is material that’s mostly between a hundred and a few thousand years old!)
For a glimpse of the world as it was before the Christians imposed their weird ideas about morality and sex, start off with Naked Brunch: Porn in Rome. Then dip into The Erotic Art of Ancient Rome and Roman Erotic Collection. And finally, before you collapse in a flushed happy heap – and be warned that this site is graphic, so no complaints, please – crawl towards the many pleasures of The World Museum of Erotic Art.
Until the next time, if outraged history teachers and politicians don’t get me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.