Most of the Dorsbult’s manne over 35 remember a series of film (ja, before TV) ads about the ”little grey man”. Everyone loved the ads, but the campaign proved an absolute nightmare for the brand of deodorant it was intended to sell. After all, who wants to appear to be a little grey man by buying it? And, can you imagine what it would do to your ego if your partner bought it for you?
What brought that ad to mind was the two-day visit of the British foreign secretary to these shores this week.
Was it a Freudian slip or could the remarkably grey Jack Straw have an impish sense of humour?
Speaking at Unisa, he was insisting that South Africa and Britain had a common agenda on Zimbabwe. ”We both want to see dialogue between the opposition and Zanu P-Off,” he said.
Ignoring the guffaws, Straw continued without missing a beat on the road to respect for human rights, the rule of law and other items on the Union Buildings-Whitehall wish list.
The manne were also gob-smacked to discover that notoriously dour Minister of Foreign Affairs Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma wasn’t far behind the Straw man in diplomatic repartee. At a dinner party in Pretoria, Straw made an impromptu speech emphasising how in sync the two countries were except for ”little differences” like Iraq. In response, Dlamini-Zuma acknowledged the presence of former South African high commissioner to Blighty Cheryl Carolus and her successor in London, Lindiwe Mabuza, and quipped: ”So, if we go to war, you can blame these two women!”
Driven to drink
Oom Krisjan knows that the situation in Zimbabwe is pretty depressing at the best of times and any excuse will do have a drink. But it seems even
MS-Word’s spellchecker is depressed: it converts Movement for Democratic Change leader Morgan Tsvangirai’s surname to ”Sangria”.
Blessed be the paranoid
Piesangland and political intrigue go together like Dorsbult and dop. But Inkatha Freedom Party KwaZulu-Natal spokesperson Blessed Gwala takes provincial paranoia to rather great lengths with the voicemail message on his cellphone. ”Here is a warning! Love everyone, but trust no one.”
Rookie Robbo
The manne were in their knoppies recently when the wire services announced that one of our own had finally become famous. It seemed that the Mail & Guardian’s cricket writer, Peter Robinson, was disproving the old adage that ”those who can’t do, teach, and those who can’t teach, write about it”.
”Rookie Peter Robinson defied the Bangladesh attack until he was brilliantly caught in the covers off a wide delivery from part-time spinner Mohammad Ashraful. Robinson, 23, was included as a spinner replacing seamer Charl Willoughby,” heralded Sapa-AP.
Lemmer couldn’t decide whether Robbo was being modest or just trying to avoid buying the entire bar a drink when he pointed out that Sapa-AP probably meant Robin Peterson.
Kiss the girls
Lemmer sometimes has a sneaking admiration for those of the criminal persuasion. Take, for example, a gang of gay robbers in Manila. Sapa-DPA reports that taxi driver Rolando Estacio fell prey to three men recently.
Estacio did not suspect his passengers, who hailed his taxi outside a shopping mall and asked to be brought to the city’s port area, because ”they were all sweet and effeminate”.
”Upon reaching a dimly lit portion in the port area, the three pulled out knives and declared a hold-up,” he said.
After getting Estacio’s money, the robbers took turns ”torridly kissing” the victim on the lips before fleeing to an unknown location.
Aussie rooles
The Australians have come up with a novel answer to laws banning supermarkets from handing out free plastic bags.
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