Oom Krisjan is proud that he cut his teeth (so to speak) on the rough-and-tumble of political debate in the Marico, where a meaty fist to the jaw followed by a bottle of Klipdrift to the kop counts as a suave intellectual intervention. Which no doubt explains why he is deurmekaar at the reason given for censoring Mail & Guardian cartoonist Zapiro’s work. The Centre for Conflict Resolution (CCR) commissioned Zapiro to produce an exhibition in the visdorpie last week, to be visited by United States congressmen and members of something called the Faith and Politics Institute in Washington. But three of his own bakgat cartoons were removed. One depicted Bushbaby in a variation on the familiar ”Uncle Sam Wants You” pose. The Zapiro version shows Bush the Lesser holding a document headed ”Global Agreements” in one hand and giving the world the finger with the other. The slogan reads: ”I WANT YOU … to get stuffed.”
A CCR representative explained that the Americans got a preview, and objected to Zapiro’s contributions because they were ”concerned about the effect the cartoons might have on the congressman”.
What effect? That they’d faint? Nuke Cape Town? Send in the Marines? These are presumably the same congressmen who enthusiastically voted to destroy one country this year and reduce another to rubble last year. The Oom hadn’t realised that these gung-ho warmongers were really such delicate flowers underneath it all.
Dodgy history I
The Dorsbult has been electrified by rigorously intellectual debate this week, taking the form mostly of incredulous guffawing, as the manne grappled with the History Olympiad question paper that about 1 200 school pupils had to tussle with last month. Our hearts go out to the pupils. One set of questions is based on a cartoon from the 1950s. It shows some figure whose only visibly certain characteristics are that he’s white, male, elderly and pin-striped. Candidates are asked who he is: MCD de Wet Nel, WA Maree, HF Verwoerd or Eric Louw. The Dorsbult regulars are positive it’s not Verwoerd, but who the hell are the others, they asked. ”Who cares?” the manne decided.
Dodgy history II
But the manne weren’t getting off quite that lightly. An irritatingly persistent Dorsbult regular tried to bring a fun-filled, Trivial Pursuit flavour to the History Olympiad. He forced the manne to look at another cartoon, also from the 1950s, this time showing three figures whose only visibly certain characteristics are, once again, etc. One, definitely Verwoerd this time, looks at the other two trading blows. ”Who are the two fighters in the cartoon?” Japie Basson and De Villiers Graaff? Douglas Mitchell and Jan Steytler? Marais Steyn and Harry Schwartz? Or JGN Strauss and JH Hofmeyr? The manne’s joint intellectual effort produced the answer about three seconds later: ”Who cares?”
Dodgiest of all
From the Dorsbult’s favourite Boeremag website: ”The white Roman Catholic priest who was accused of rape by a black Sudanese refugee has finally been kicked out by his church … Father James McCauley had at first been exonerated by the Azanian (New South African) Catholic Church, which had held its own ‘investigation’ behind closed doors — but when three more men, who had remained silent for years, came forward alleging that he sexually molested them too, the church was forced to take action. McCauley’s case is linked by pro-apartheid activists to the many white leftists whose opposition to apartheid was based on their desire to be able to sexually prey on blacks without state interference.”
Murder most fowl
‘Chicken shoots upset children”, a headline in the Cape Times trumpeted recently, sparking huge excitement in the Dorsbult. Some leathery hacks still preach to their fresh-faced interns that ”Dog bites man” is not news but ”Man bites dog” is. So the possibility that an enraged fowl had reached for its AK-47 to eliminate snivelling toddlers got the adrenalin pumping. Closer inspection of the story revealed that it concerned complaints about a Chinese nature park that allows visitors to use real guns to kill chickens. This display of ”sportsmanship” was upsetting the children.
An artist!
One of the Oom’s chommies takes a stern line on name-dropping — a cheap way to get recognition, he feels. But even he was impressed at the spectacular heights to which an Eldorado Park resident takes the practice. The resident wants his land claim legitimised and plans to sue the government if it doesn’t repair his house. So at a meeting between community members and the Gauteng government this week he told Premier Mbhazima Shilowa: ”Mandela used to stay in my house before he went to Robben Island.” Now if that doesn’t move comrade Shilowa, nothing will.
Chutzpah
The current levels of crime, especially organised, gang-related crime, are the result of decades of neglect that allowed criminal organisations to take root among communities, Western Cape Premier Marthinus van Schalkwyk said on Wednesday, according to Sapa. The problem had built up over a long period, he opined. Good to know that the New National Party leader is on the culprit’s trail. Got any hot leads yet, Kortbroek?
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