We’re getting closer and closer to the war on Iraq (which is something of a misnomer, given that to call it a ‘war’ means you have to have two armies in place) and the grab for oil under the guise of keeping the world safe is imminent. It’s nice to see locals discovering that nuclear war might just affect them. Let’s see how long it is before local so-called “political experts” discover and start talking about the concept of “Pax Americana”, which is what is now occurring on the political stage.
Let’s look at rollercoasters. A nice, safe, puerile topic that doesn’t rock the boat. There are those who think that climbing on board a small car attached to rails and being thrown around at insane speeds is a good idea. For a launching point into insanity, consider the joys of Rollercoasters.
And then, for pictures of people screaming in fear and thinking they’re having a good time, browse through the collection of often bizarre pix at Joyrides.
There are different gradients and levels of heart-stopping terror, as far as amusement-park rides and rollercoasters go. See the coaster equivalent of wearing an AWB T-shirt in Hillbrow at Negative G.
Luckily though, accidents and deaths do happen on rollercoasters, although they tend to receive little or no publicity. I guess the various parks swing a heavy hand as far as spin management goes, and it’s just not good PR to admit that a bunch of overweight, green-faced screaming patrons hurtled off one of your rides at 300 miles an hour and got turned into tomato purée, right? Amusement Ride Accident Reports.
Some people take their coaster worship a bit far, to the point of making movies (and yes, there are nekkid flick pix connected to rollercoasters, but I’m not gonna be the one to point you in the direction of those). Instead, why not download a fairly small three-minute home-made movie by a bunch of coaster fans, called Roller Ghoster.
If you can think back to the days before TV when you might have gone on one or another of the amusement rides that constituted fun “back then”, you may have wondered how those ghostly bits and pieces that popped up at you during the ride were created. Browse through this page set up by a company that specialises in making the ghoulish beasties and things that you might encounter on a ghost-train ride in an amusement park: Ride Makers.
Just to demonstrate further that people who have disabilities are not the wimps that locals might think, read this webpage about the experiences of a blind rollercoaster and amusement-park fan — doing battle against the folks who’d keep her off the rides: Blind Rides.
Okay, I figure you’ve had enough of the regular rollercoaster rides, so now listen to what happens when the president of the United States has to use his memory when repeating an old saying at Shame on Me.
Then, just to add some adrenaline to this week’s column, how about a nice, short, downloadable film of American President George W Bush Picking His Nose.
Yes, I know, its always funny until someone gets hurt — and this has appeared here before, but it does show clearly that it’s really not healthy to be in any way connected to the Bush family. A statistically impossible number of people linked to the Bushes have died in a variety of ways. Think I’m kidding? Go browse through The Bush Body Count.
Assorted strange and fun posters, suitable for wallpaper — or if you’re one of those lucky people with a colour printer, you can print ’em out and decorate your Dilbert-like cubicle with Stupid Posters.
Free stuff! You’ve always heard about it. Maybe you even saw the pretty creepy movie version with Richard Burton a few years back. But instead of forking out a large sum of money to buy a copy of George Orwell’s classic book, which scarily accurately mirrors a lot of what is unfolding at the present time, go and read the online version of 1984.
Locally we’re pretty primitive in terms of protesting. A few naked women here and there, the standard placard-waving stuff. We’ve yet to progress to handcuffing US embassy gates closed. Or, a cool protest form that I’ve been lucky enough to see in action — which puzzles and irritates the hell out of people on all sides — is protesters dressing up as yuppie scum, waving banners suggesting that for instance “Bush isn’t doing enough to help us millionaires”. (One of their signs at a recent anti-World Economic Forum action was “Bad capitalist! No martini!”). These protesters dress in eveningwear and tuxedos, open champagne bottles and behave like — well — like the rich scum they’re lampooning. Go read and consider the amazingly mind-warping attitude of Billionaires for Bush.
And then, completely unrelated to anything else — if you’re one of the literate folks who’ve read some of Graham Hancock’s books over time, then you’ll know what to expect. (Hancock is the fairly sensible chap who’s pointed out that there’s way too much evidence all over the place, showing completely unknown prior civilisations that appear to have been wiped out somehow). Go take a look at the photographs of underwater buildings that no one is talking about, at Graham Hancock Online.
Until the next time, if naked women protesters don’t get me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.