This weekend I ended up being wildly politically incorrect and howling with laughter, watching our president and company try to avoid getting hit by a collapsing stage. Yes, I know it’s terrible, but I’ve been blessed with a wonderful ability to find happiness and humour in other people’s tragedies – and damn, it was also symbolic of what’s going on in this country — ie: The roof caving in, the well-off being protected by bodyguards, and a humourless audience sitting patiently watching, with no one daring to laugh.
Anyhow, now that I’ve offended those people who are perverted enough to have respect for politicians, let’s take a cruise through assorted examples of anarchy in action.
If you thought that Jackass represented the best in people doing amazingly painful and stupid things, then take a look at what some Australians have been up to. There’s a vast quantity of clips to download, showing what happens when Jackass-style mayhem meets Australian lack of subtlety. Go grab goodies at Pickled Eggs.
(I’m curious, where’re the local Jackass types? Are South Africans so spineless that they’re not interested in performing dangerous and painful stunts and getting hurt for the gleeful enjoyment of the rest of us?)
The fun anarchic craze of ‘flash mobbing’, where large quantities of strangers abruptly descend on somewhere and have fun, has arrived in the UK. This whole phenomenon is unlikely to happen here as it requires being in a society that isn’t torn apart by violence. Go read Flash Mobbing in the UK.
Apart from numerous jokes too foul to mention in a public forum, when I mention duct tape, what springs to mind? Would you believe there are people who like to have themselves duct-taped to walls? I’m not kidding, go have a look at the happy faces of ordinary people stuck to walls at Duct Tape Wall Taping.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water. Take a look at this page by a funeral company that’s offering to encase the ashes of your loved ones in concrete, mould it into a coral reef shape and drop it in the sea. Beats being dumped in a mine shaft, I guess. Check out Eternal Reefs.
And to go one step beyond in terms of how to mess with the remains of a human being, how about a company that’s offering to remove the carbon from your loved one’s ashes, and make a diamond? Eeuuwww. See Life Gems.
To go further into commercial weirdness, take a look at a theme park based on the Bible. Yup, ignore all the contradictory stuff that the preachers don’t mention, and go stare thoughtfully at the The Holy Land Experience.
Then for something completely different, how about a portable toilet that you can attach to the back of your truck or car? The great outdoors problem is solved at last. Be afraid… be very afraid as you walk cautiously towards The Bumper Dumper.
Of course, you could be bored with life and be needing something to increase the adrenaline. Instead of just going for yet another Aids test, why not do something out of the ordinary and pay some people to kidnap you? Go read the blurb about a company that promises to bring a little terror into your life at Extreme Kidnapping.
For a glimpse at what happened when art met the Net, read the article by artist Christophe Bruno who bought advertising space on Google, and put poems in the banner spaces at the Google Adwords happening.
Alternatively, look at what happens when you use a web-translator that takes a site and adds the phrase ‘without my pants’ to the end of every sentence. It’s dumb but adds a certain something. Try The Mail & Guardian Without My Pants.
I’m not a fan of sports generally, apart from Sumo wrestling or various violently gory martial arts where grown men eventually have to struggle not to cry – at least those are fun to watch. Here’s another odd sport which might have cool spectator-value- Toe Wrestling.
Here’s a small killer app for you slaves stuck in offices. It’s very simply a ‘progress indicator’ and you set it running in front of whatever application you’re using at the office. So that you can sit in front of your PC, doing nothing, pretending to wait for your computer to presumably finish some complex task. (So if the Boss ambles by, you’re not in trouble.) Download and try out The Fake Progress Indicator.
Then, speaking of the poor folks who have to be treated like children and sit in offices all day long under the watchful gaze of a ‘boss’, you know that dangerous silly thing about putting the boss’s head onto some porno pic and sending it around the office? Well, the process has been automated for your pleasure. Go experiment at Steal Your Face.
Are you a gadget freak? Do your eyes gleam at the sight of some incredibly small and powerful gizmo that Does Stuff? It’s mostly useless looking for gadgets locally, as the markup can be up to 3000%. So go take a looksee at the top of the range goodies on display at Gizmodo. Then to see what I mean about local rip-off prices, do the sums at the current exchange rate, and salivate over the range of yummy electronic things at Portables.
Of course, you could always just buy yourself a fighter jet. Go take a look at (but don’t forget to read the readers comments below the ad) I Want One Of Those.
Just to make you feel better about yourself, (if you’re dumb enough to think you’re ugly in the first place) go stare at the often striking differences in the photos at Celebrities With and Without Makeup.
Gear change. Just to offset those ignorant folks who suggest that drugs are somehow unconnected to history, there’s an awful lot of very interesting historical data at The Influence of Marijuana in Music.
And another gear change, staying in the history theme. It’s appeared in this column before, but it’s too damn good not to point out again. In the 1950’s, illustrations by Art Frahm graced a variety of media, mostly calenders – and you’ll perhaps recognize his style. However, looking at his artwork now, showing endless women with falling panties and surprised expressions – there’s something decidedly odd going on. Go read The Effect of Celery On Loose Elastic.
And finally, something to ponder: All you innocent owners of those special, ahem, vibrating Playstation controllers, read the article about what happens when vibrators and computer gaming collide, at Game Girl.
Until the next time, if a stage doesn’t fall on me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.