South Africa’s fortress in Fremantle doesn’t take kindly to my type.
Poms, rooineks, colonial masters. Call us what you will. But when I snuck in to the Esplanade Hotel this morning it was like being a red-coated extra in a Boer War drama.
Thing is, the Boks have got hangers-on like Gert Smal and Ray Mordt: two ex-players who can peel paint with one sneer.
And boy do they sneer when they see an engelsman.
I chose to interview Werner Greef, who infamously gave away a penalty try at Twickenham last November when he stiff-armed England’s now forgotten back Phil Christophers.
Great, I thought, let’s pin him down. Get him to rant and rave. In England and Australia, after recent brutal encounters, we generally consider Springboks to be one step lower than crocodiles on the evolutionary ladder.
But Werner did nothing of the sort. You can read the full interview in The People on Sunday, but basically he was brilliant. Articulate in both languages (he laughed when I explained I could understand the guttural outpourings of Afrikaans) he basically out jousted me verbally.
And, most worrying of all, he gave the impression the Springboks are seriously optimistic about their chances against England on Saturday week.
Like the England robots, Greef was supposed to concentrate purely on Uruguay, their opening game on Saturday.
But he had the guts to say what England’s players won’t: “I honestly believe we are No 1 in the world. We have the squad, the team, to win it.”
Hmmm.
Lunch with the South African press afterwards in Fremantle was interesting too.
Bok coach Rudi Straueli is apparently at war with Kevin McCallum of the best-selling Johannesburg daily The Star. If it came to fisticuffs, the diminutive scribe wouldn’t last two minutes.
I got the impression of a squad which has withdrawn into what the South Africans call a laager — they’ve put the wagons in a circle, wedged thorn trees between them, and they ain’t going down without a fight.
Contrast that with the England camp four hours later (after playing soccer for the British Press in their emphatic 8-0 victory over the British Photographers on the banks of the Swan River).
I told prop Phil Vickery that Greef had said his side can win the World Cup and pointed out how evasive England are in comparison.
Vickery, known as the Raging Bull but not for his verbosity, grumbled: “I can’t say we’ll win it can I? I wouldn’t want to say that. But I do think South Africa are good enough to go all the way.”
Such sweet souls, we English.
And then, after Jonny Wilkinson’s press conference the day before which featured 12 mentions of the word fear, we have our most exciting back Jason Robinson, head down, delivering the most downbeat of interviews.
Here’s what he said: ” At times I just still feel I’m the new boy. The good thing about this team is that we come together very well.
“Rugby Union is a very complex game, I’ve had help from everyone. Neil Back is in there scrapping away, Jonny and the backs, Ben Cohen’s finishing, there’s all sorts to learn from.
“We work together as a back three (with fellow wing Cohen and full back Josh Lewsey), we’re all aware of what each of us can contribute to the team. I’m just delighted to be playing. I’ve played on the wing for the majority of my career.
“I just want to get one under my belt in the World Cup. These things don’t come very often.”
Outside, Press Officer Richard Prescott was attempting to explain away the no-show of scrum-half Matt Dawson and reserve back Iain Balshaw at training in the morning.
He said he’d get a medical viewpoint. Given that the England team doctor assured the press gang “I can categorically assure you there are no World Cup threatening injuries” the day before fly-half Alex King was ruled out last month, I guess we’ll have to wait and see if England are injury free for Sunday and the ginger Georgians.
One things for sure. South Africa and game two will be no pushover.