With the group stages over, it is my privilege to name a Rugby World Cup 2003 Select XV, who will play Mars (or is it Uranus?) next week.
That’s the problem with bloody World XVs… who do they play against? Anyway, I’ve sifted through the memory banks, had a chat with some of the other lads, and come up with this little lot…
15: I know this Aussie fullback Mat Rogers is considered by Wallaby coach Eddie Jones to be “the best broken-play runner in the world” but there’s something too self-satisfied about the bloke. And he scored his record 42 points against Namibia as a flyhalf. No, I’ll go for Mils Muliana, the All Black, with Chris Latham, the Wallaby axed after scoring five tries against Namibia, as his understudy.
13 and 14: I’ll just pick two wings. It’s not like football where you want a left-footer and a right-footer. Fiji’s Rupeni Caucau scored three brilliant tries in just two games due to a two-game suspension — I’d have him. Fellow Fijian Joe Rokocoko, sadly playing as an All Black here, has the best strike rate but injury has hampered him. So I’ll go for the other New Zealander Doug Howlett, with England’s hard-working Jason Robinson running him close.
12 and 13: It’s tempting to pick Brian O’Driscoll at centre after his first try in eight months against Australia. But he hasn’t really been producing it. I’m afraid I’ll have to make an emotional decision here and plump for England’s Will Greenwood. Perhaps their most intelligent player, he scored the vital try against the Springboks despite problems with his wife Caro’s pregnancy, which forced him to fly home hours later. Next to him? South Africa’s De Wet Barry gets my nod. He’s run himself in to the ground and rarely shirks a tackle.
10: England’s Jonny Wilkinson has fallen way short of his usual standards and Australia’s Steve Larkham struggled against the Irish. Samoa’s Earl Va’a has been sensational but I’m afraid this one has to go to the current leading points scorer Frederic Michalak of France.
9: It’s tempting to plump for Michalak’s partner Fabien Galthie at scrum-half. Or how about Aussie skipper George Gregan? Certainly England’s Kyran Bracken and Matt Dawson aren’t up to it. Record-breaking Bok Joost van der Westhuizen, who retires after the tournament, remains the most potent weapon I’ve seen yet behind the scrum.
6 and 7: England’s Neil Back is straight in at flanker, with Welshman Colin Charvis opposite him. They get the vote for courage in the face of adversity. Other contenders: Aussie George Smith was the only Wallaby to emerge with any credit from the Ireland game and who wants to stop Serge Betsen in full flow.
8: Imanol Harinordoqy, the French No 8. No question. Sentimental choice would have been Samoan skipper Semi Setiti.
4 and 5: Victor Matfield has dominated the line-outs for South Africa, England’s pairing of Ben Kay and Martin Johnson are just off the pace. So it’s time for a Scotsman: Nathan Hines. Okay, he’s a bit Australian but he was central to the Jocks’ vital win over Fiji. Fabien Pelous of France is always there or thereabouts.
2: Keith Wood gets the hooker’s berth. He’s the world’s greatest all-round forward. He kicks, he runs, he tackles. And he does the basics in the scrum and line-out even better than England’s Steve Thompson.
1 and 3: Scotland’s ageless Lion Tom Smith, a sufferer of epilepsy, gets all the votes after his late try against Fiji. Next to him? South Africa’s fearsome Richard Bands.