/ 31 March 2004

Caught on camera

Saw the new remake of Dawn of the Dead last week and it’s a lot of fun, although I’m a purist and thus prefer my zombies to be shuffling as opposed to sprinting a la 28 Days. I don’t know when the mafia-like corporate thugs – sorry – I mean ‘local film distributors’ will be unveiling it here, but trust me, it’s a lot more fun as a first date flick than Gibson’s Passion. This gently leads into my ongoing attempt to find sites to make you go awww, but this time, combining the awww with zombies. So have a look at what happens when Zombies And Kittens Collide.

By the way, for those of you familiar with Latin, you’ll notice that the Passion flick sadly but carefully chooses not to translate the rude and obscene things the Roman soldiers are saying during the scourging. A pity, as a bit of x-rated comedy might have helped relieve the tension at that point in the story.

And now, free stuff with zombies! For those of you lucky enough to have decent bandwidth, the classic ’60’s horror flick Night of the Living Dead has been released into public domain. What this means is you can now go and legally download it and own it, without having to pay anyone a cent. What are you waiting for? Download Night of the Living Dead.

Bizarro mondo time. You have money, which you need to hide … Do you buy a wall safe or stash it under the couch? Or do you buy excrement-stained underpants which double as a wallet, figuring no self respecting burglar is going to want to pick up what looks like pooed-in underpants? Dumb question, I guess. Naturally you’ll buy the kaka undies, right? Go stare at Dirty Underpants Wallet.

Then to go one step beyond. Recall the joys of playing with a train set as a kid? Wouldn’t it be fun if someone took this playing with trains concept and arranged it so you could do it while travelling? Take a look at Miniature Trainset in Suitcase.

‘I cant believe I let pictures be taken of me’ time. What’s more embarassing than being a Goth? Correct – being a Goth and having your picture taken outdoors in daylight. And then, what’s even more awkward? How about your Goth pic taken in various ‘satanic’ poses, and with assorted supposedly menacing objects, like axes and chainsaws. Go stare at what somebody must have thought was very very cool, rebellious and menacing, but which just looks very very silly. Goth Pix Poses

So you work in an office and therefore are bored out of your mind … Luckily there’s a large supply of Post It notes available. Take a look at what you need to do in your office to relieve the boredom. Pix of the Post-It frenzy were sent to the makers of the little yellow stickers, and they must have enjoyed it as they sent over cases of more stickers ‘for future decorating’. The Post It Office Frenzy.

The hi-tech frontier section. A tiny glimpse seeped through of some of the secret projects being undertaken on behalf of the US military. For instance, note the reference in this next article to ‘underwater holograms being used to disguise submarines’ Underwater Holograms. And how about technology which allows for tiny portable body coolers, or which samples air density and tells soldiers where snipers have fired from? Sniper Sniffers And Body Coolers.

As I’ve pointed out previously, the military industrial complex likes wars because it gives them a chance to test out new weaponry in real-life combat situations. Read this interesting article which looks at the current invasion and occupation of Iraq from a slightly different perspective. Read Iraq As A Weapons Testing Laboratory.

Nasa inches ever closer to coughing awkwardly and admitting what everyone else has known for a long time, that there is a very good chance of life existing on Mars. Another piece of proof was unveiled a few days ago. Read the article Methane Means Life On Mars. Related vaguely is this short piece on the still expensive but almost-here fun of Commercial Passenger Space Travel.

And speaking of hot gas, allow me to pontificate momentarily: I tend to consider ‘religion’ as an alarming and dangerous illusion whose single purpose is to control the hearts and minds of humans, and divide them. (Show me even one instance where religion hasn’t actually resulted in the death of anyone and brought peace to all. You can’t. Ergo – It’s not good. End of story.) This doesn’t mean that I’m not endlessly fascinated with theology and how people behave with nonsensical illusions conditioned into them. And a few humans even manage to be vaguely decent with the addition of a religion – but there again, you could say the same about Prozac, heroin or marijuana. Start your journey towards enlightenment at Devils From Heaven. Then to read other articles by the same writer, browse down the page to the article headings at John Kaminski.

One of the things I always find very funny and indicative of local leftist’s stupidity and ignorance is their ability to protest against, for instance, the USA, for whatever the latest angst is, then go buy a Coke on the way home, or stop by a MacDonalds, or KFC for their evening supper. That’s really dumb, if you pause to think it through. You have a visible protest, then go and buy products which are inherently part and parcel of the political structure you’re protesting against. The truth is that boycotting products has a greater effect than any scrawled placard. Go learn something at Boycott USA.

And in the same vein, if you have a problem with occupied Palestine then take a look at Boycott Israel. For those who’d like a clearer look at the Warsaw Ghetto-like reality of life under Israeli occupation and repression, bookmark and keep an eye on The Electronic Intifada.

It’s geared towards US citizens, but what the heck – go find out just how liberal you are and Take The Liberal Test.

Stupid download time. What happens if you’re on one of those crap ‘home shopping network’ channels, like a 24 hour non-stop Verimark advert channel, and you’re trying to sell a big bloody samurai sword. A sharp big bloody samurai sword. And there’s no budget to stop the filming when you cut yourself. Its a 5 meg download to see what happens when moron meets sword-for-sale. (Now, why can’t someone offer that discredited and Absa-paid self-proclaimed ‘investigative journalist’ bimbo Isobel Jones a big panga to try out) Download Sword Meets Moron.

Then for the geeky at heart. You may not know this but way back in the Stone Age of computing, also known as the 80s, some vinyl records were released for computer games. So to have a look at and download some of the vile games which came with the odd Thompson Twins and Shaking Stevens album, go to Vinyl Data.

Or you could always waste some time on this stupid flash-driven Drunk Nailing Game.

Did you know that there’s a topless woman in a Disney film? Or that the Mouse House itself once made a film called The Story of Menstruation? For a crash course in these truths as well as apparent urban legends surrounding Disney films, go take a look at Urban Legends – Disney.

There’s that old Woody Allen line which goes ‘Those who can’t DO, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym. And those who couldn’t teach gym, taught at my school’. Point being, it’s not only this country that has lousy teachers. They’re everywhere. Thanks to this next site, there’s a pleasant way of letting the student community know who sucks and who doesn’t. Go browse the often wildly personal ratings and comments at to Rate My Professor.

Then finally, as to whether this next news item is actually real or not, I couldn’t say, but take a read of what happened when a teacher’s private porno clips got mixed up amidst an otherwise boring powerpoint presentation lecture on carboxyl amyl acids. Prof’s Porn Stash Revealed.

Until the next time, if the religious don’t get me.