With the election behind us, the hustings mercifully silent, we may now all relapse into the dullness of our quotidian lives. One or two politicians are still crowing but otherwise it’s back to normal.
One post-election spark, however, now flares a little brighter. A season of forgiveness is upon us. Post-election time, for the victors at least, provides the perfect opportunity to express the thrilling breadth of their magnanimity. The vines are already a-buzz with talk of presidential pardons and amnesties for those who have misbehaved in the past. People are wondering nervously about which remorse-stricken criminals Mbeki will release back on to the streets this time? He didn’t choose too wisely on a previous occasion when his sense of clemency overcame him, flinging open some maximum-security cell doors which would better have been left securely bolted.
But enough of these jaded thoughts. When he dishes out pardons next Tuesday our president will have been well advised. And Mbeki is no clutch-penny, not if the no less than R60-million being spent on his re-inauguration is anything to go by. Never mind the R104-million spent on furnishing his personal Boeing. When our boss lashes out he lashes out.
One or two hot favourites for presidential pardons are already being hoofed around. Prominent among these is the cleric from Hellshoogte, the Reverend Allan Boesak. Surely poor Allan has suffered enough, what with a prison sentence and all that unpleasant publicity about his being a reverse version of Robin Hood: robbing the poor to pay off his Joshua Doore furniture bill. Those carpets of many colours and those copper elephants must have set Allan back a small fortune, never mind the digital exercise pulpits. With his criminal record given a quick valet service by Thabo, who knows to what new depths of trickery Allan could descend.
There’s also talk that, in the spirit of Freedom Day, all prisoners over the age of 60 will be released. This is nothing but practical. Correctional services is running out of pacemakers.
The ecstatic disposition of amelioration, exoneration and absolution seems to be catching. Last Sunday, Independent Newspapers stole a march on the president when they ran an amusing opinion piece by their resident plagiarist, Darrel Bristow-Bovey. Poor Darrel’s been confined in journalistic limbo for a few months, serving out his sentence with his well-known humility. He deserves his break now that he’s had time to catch up on research for his future columns.
Another organisation to jump the absolution gun has been the SABC. That redoubtable establishment has announced the re-appointment of one Snuki Zikalala (PhD Bulgaria) to head its news department. This is a bit surprising. When Snuki last frequented the Auckland Park newsrooms he was about as popular as a hooker at a wedding. Besides which, as the SABC coverage of the recent elections showed, the corporation needs little extra help in its proctal obligations to the African National Congress.
Gideon Nieuwoudt, that under- valued champion of the reliable old security police of PW Botha’s time, is not someone to whom I would be persuaded to offer any dispensation. Like many of his ilk, Gideon has been deploying the careworn ‘Eichmann Defence”: that when he killed people he was only obeying orders. On those grounds, I’d only give him a pardon on condition that once again he visits the parents of every one of the men he murdered and once again offers them his sincere apologies for doing so. This time family members could slug him over the head with even bigger vases.
Some of the papers are suggesting that another of PW Botha’s specialist hit men, Eugene de Kock, is also a candidate for pardon. At least Eugene’s done some serious prison time for his sins, which is a lot more than you can say for PW and the security police bosses who dispatched apartheid’s blood-end police operatives on their missions. Perhaps the unwritten blanket amnesty PW and company have been enjoying will now be made official.
Such a possibility gained credi- bility when last week the ANC announced that it was engaged in amnesty talks with its political stoepkakker, the New National Party. Among those taking part in the talks was FW de Klerk, himself once a minister in PW’s sty. Also bending the ANC’s ear are representatives of the high police minions of those heady times.
Like sun-dried dog turds in the park, the political soilings of the National Party will soon be the only evidence of its existence. Mbeki will be well rid of them. But whatever the petitions he’s receiving from those quarters, he could use the opportunity to get rid of some steamier deposits befouling the ANC’s otherwise impeccable democratic lawns. He could grant total amnesty to any past, present or future corruption in any way associated with the arms deal. While he’s about it, he could absolve the Mpumalanga administration, the Shaik family or, if needs be, even that dodgy Nigerian oil deal.
Charity begins at home and all that.