At last, a column that doesn’t start off by mentioning Zimbabwe in the first sentence. Oh. Oops. (Hmm, they’re saying the problems in Zim are a strictly internal matter. If the world had said that about South Africa, the African National Congress would still be begging on the streets of Lusaka and being laughed at. Kids, can you say “hypocritical double standards”?)
Let’s start off this week with a geeky bang. You know the strange attraction men online have towards what they think are women — especially in online chat rooms? Have a look at the silliness that erupted when some guy decided to be NickyFox18 on Yahoo Chat!.
The global chess game that is playing out in full view — with very little alarm being raised by the media — is continuing. You’ll recall the previous week’s column mention of about 93% of the United States navy having put to sea — well, the latest scuttlebutt suggests China or North Korea are the targets. From the swift diplomatic moves occurring, it seems possible. Read this little-covered item about a top Chinese official heading to Moscow for ‘military cooperation talks’: China Official to Moscow.
Bill Cosby, the really old, unfunny and boringly pedantic speaker who used to be hilarious back when we were all five years old and respectful of authority figures has been wagging his finger in the news lately: Bill Cosby to Blacks: ‘Stop Blaming the White Man’.
For you stupid people who actually drink the chemical mess known as “cold drinks”, you might want to read Diet Drinks Can Make You Fatter.
Then staying in the soft-drink-can genre, read what happens when technology, Coke cans and US military secrets collide at Paranoia Goes Better with Coke.
Odd-problems-with-money time. What’s better than having money? Correct — having a few tons of coins that no one wants to take off your hands. If you thought that jar you keep in the cupboard was a sizeable collection, read Man Saves Million Pennies But No One Wants Them.
Remember a few hundred years ago, in those heady days before computers and video games, when groups of people would get together over food and booze, and then throw dice and play board games such as Risk? Well now you can recreate some of those moments — in isolation, though — on your PC. Go take a look at the online game called World Conquest.
Being a serious film geek (and, yes, I could probably kick Barry Ronge’s ass in any film trivia game, were it not for the fear of getting my foot stuck there), The Shining is among my top 500 greatest films. It’s truly a work of art and has the curious effect of being one of the few “horror” films that becomes more frightening each time you see it. Take a look at the very informative page known as Five Things You Probably Didn’t Notice in The Shining.
And sticking with Stanley Kubrick, it’s odd that almost every one of his films upon first release was received with confusion, shock, and scathing attacks. Thereafter — usually between five and 10 years later — the film itself has become understood and has quietly slipped into “modern classic status”, although this isn’t how the critics and public viewed it when it first emerged. Think back (those of you old folks who were around then) to the first unveilings of 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon, The Shining and Eyes Wide Shut. Each caused a stir and Eyes Wide Shut, his last film, was greeted with the same confusion and scathing attacks.
Eyes Wide Shut gives the initial appearance of being curiously “empty” as a film, yet it’s a disturbingly multifaceted puzzle box, which continues to attract viewers. Kubrick was a gifted and deeply intellectual filmmaker, and to give you just two glimpses into Eyes Wide Shut that should make you pay serious attention the next time it pops up on TV, have a look firstly at Opening Eyes Wide Shut. Then, for a descent into an equally valid alternative explanation of the film, suggesting Illuminati/CIA/mind-control references, read An Interpretation of Eyes Wide Shut.
Staying with film, I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 recently — and being a conspiracy geek, it covers pretty much the standard material that Greg Palast, John Pilger and other documentary makers have covered in depth. Namely, the stealing of the Florida elections, the Bush-Bin Laden connections, the Carlyle Group. But this will all still be an eye-opener to folks who don’t know much about real politics.
The film still ignores the equally documented Israeli Mossad connections to 9/11, the deliberate stand-down of US military forces on 9/11 while the attack was under way and the demolition of the World Trade Center buildings. But it’s a start for mainstream audiences to get a sense of the new world order unfolding on the global stage. First off, browse through the political cartoons dealing with Michael Moore and the release of Fahrenheit 9/11. Then read through the Timeline of Pre-9/11 Warnings to the Bush Administration.
Here’s a glimpse of Mossad black ops in action on US soil, as uncovered by the Drug Enforcement Agency, yet ignored by most media — read The Israeli ‘Art Student’ Papers. And to get a sense of the deliberate setting-up of 9/11 as a conscious act of state terrorism, consider the timelines available at The Center for Cooperative Research. Then, for a solidly interesting read, you should try The Propaganda Preparation for 9/11.
If you would like to download the film Fahrenheit 9/11 itself and watch it, apparently Moore himself has said this is fine to do. Read through the info at this VERY anti-Michael Moore site (they presumably are hoping their information will cut into Moore’s profits by doing this). But there are links to Moore himself saying that he has no problem with people downloading his film, as long as no one’s making any profit from it. So why wait until local distributors deign to show it to you? Go read and download via Steal This Movie: Download Fahrenheit 9/11.
Okay, enough of showing you who’s really running things. Let’s give you cartoons for when the office gets boring! Browse through the 100-plus archived strips of the quietly odd but wonderfully named Rabid Monkeys!.
Then, for wallpaper for the inherently geeky, browse through this next site, which has lots of great photographs of the old black-and-white cinema heroines and actresses. Mmm, Ingrid Bergman, mmm … go perv through Silver Screen Sirens and Sex Symbols.
Even more geeky: if you have a webpage that you haven’t really bothered doing anything with for a while, why not create your own “sorry, we’re closed” sign and have that displayed to visitors? Go check out the basic original sign and then cut and paste the html with your own version of the slogan to your new, unfinished page. If this is all gibberish, don’t worry, the geeks will know what it’s about. Try Sorry We’re Closed Sign.
Or if you’ve ever wondered just what exactly would happen if a real mouse got into your computer — and be warned, its not pretty — have a look at A Mouse in a Computer.
The Hubble Telescope, which Nasa suspiciously wants to trash as soon as possible, has just quietly demonstrated that it’s a valuable piece of equipment. How? Look at Hubble Discovers 100 New Planets.
Then, speaking of Nasa, for a descent into even more stupidity try this amazing online story site — and you just have to settle in with a cup of coffee and read The Wal-Mart Story at Mentally Incontinent.
Finally, the ultimate nightmare. Imagine being trapped alone and starving out in the wilderness — with only a very large supply of ink-jet cartridges available to you. What would you do? Would you die of thirst? Okay, it is a fake news item, but it had me believing it for a while. Read Stranded Man Survives Off Toner and Ink Cartridges!.
Until the next time, if local film distributors don’t get me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the internet began to make much more sense than theatre.