My big flat Greek Games

There are two kinds of people in this world, according to the hit movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding: there are Greeks and those who wish they were Greek. The bad news is neither kind is queuing up to watch the Olympics in the Greek capital.

Perhaps the main reason for the lack of local support for the games is the embarrassment caused by successive drug stories.

No sooner had the soap opera of the host nation’s two leading sprinters — who were involved in a mysterious ‘motorcycle accident” when they should have been taking drugs tests — died down, when weight lifter Leonidas Sampanis was confirmed as having taken testosterone.

If the air force major’s urine B sample is found to be tainted, he will become the first medallist in more than 10 years to have been stripped of his medal at his home Olympics.

Not only will he be branded a cheat for life, he will also lose his air force commission. He will, however, be a candidate for the gold medal as the stupidest athlete at any summer Olympics. In his two previous games, he won two silvers; in his hometown edition, with chemical assistance, he won bronze!

What is scary is that reports are starting to surface about a Greek conspiracy to deliver scores of medals — by hook or by crook. Former culture minister Evangelis Venizelos admitted that the coach of disgraced sprinters Kostas Kenteris and Katherina Thanou, Christos Tzekos, proposed a €6-million scheme to raise 150 potential Olympic winners on dietary supplements and banned doping substances.

The plan was codenamed Korivos, after an Elian sprinter in the first ancient Olympics in 776 BC.With days to go before the end of the games, the South African medal count is also below what was expected, although swimming has delivered three medals and the heavyweight coxless rowing pair another.

One would have thought that by winning a gold (4 x100m relay), silver (100m freestyle) and a bronze (50m freestyle), the swimming team would be collectively fêted. Roland Schoeman, participant in all the swimming medals, was dumb enough to suggest that the team should receive more backing in future.

The reply from Swimming South Africa’s Gideon Sam was: ‘If they want to swim for Uganda, then they must go.” Supportive words indeed.

The list of South African flops includes the likes of Llewellyn Herbert, Frans Kruger and Jacques Freitag, who all fell way below par.

They can be grateful they don’t represent Canada, whose Olympians were savaged in the Toronto Sun: ‘How often must we listen to downcast losers saying this just wasn’t their day, they didn’t feel ready, were out of sorts, too unfocused, not hungry enough. I am left speechless by such meek acquiescence,” wrote a columnist.

South Africa’s hopes now rest on the shoulders of high jumper Hestrie Cloete, and the men’s marathon team, who do duty on the tough Marathon to Athena course on Sunday.

Cloete, who celebrated her 26th birthday on Thursday, is a far cry from the shy North West girl who brought home a silver from the Sydney Games. ‘The big difference between Sydney and Athens is that I am more confident now, 2m [high] is no more a threat to me, I have everything technically right, and not even the heat bothers me. I have been training between noon and 3pm every afternoon with no problems.”

Josiah Thugwane set a high standard in Atlanta and the four-man South African marathon team can repeat that feat. Hendrik Ramaala, Ian Syster, Gert Thys and Makhosonke Fika all have the goods to do the job — especially Ramaala, who is one of only a handful of runners in the world to have run a half marathon in under one hour.