/ 25 November 2004

The spirit of Christmas

Yet again, we’re approaching the cold and clinically prepared marketing scam known as Christmas, when the public are conned into buying rubbish they don’t need, conned into expecting positive emotions they won’t experience, and deliberately manipulated into getting deeper into debt. Read the sense in the words, at The Anti Christmas Cards Page. And pause by The Christmas Resistance Movement.

Watch for the bright shining consumerist lies to begin in all media, with phrases like “the spirit of Christmas” and “the season of goodwill” — in order to sell you junk you don’t need, just so you can sit on the 25th of December and try and feel that you’re part of something larger than yourself. Which you aren’t. Show that you’re not a lemming by NOT buying anything this Christmas. (Buy your goodies in January rather.) Snap out of the walking sleep and Buy Nothing At Christmas.

And if you have access to a printer, there’s a rather nice poster of Jesus saying “Where did I say that you should buy so much stuff to celebrate my birthday?” — and other highly apt and poignant posters.

On the other hand, of course, if you DO need to kill some children — and do it in a way that leaves you blameless — go look through The Top 10 Most Harmful and Dangerous Toys of 2004.

It’s become a routine thing in other parts of the world for large numbers of people to dress up as Santa and go hit the streets in a big mob of drunken happy anarchist Santas. Go look at the pix, follow the links — and read the police reports — at Santarchy!!.

Gear change. Here’s a useful eye opener article, pointing out the simple truth that there’s a pattern unfolding behind the supposed beheadings and executions that are becoming commonplace. Every time something emerges that’s potentially damaging to the Bush administration, there’s suddenly another kidnapping or public execution of a hostage to divert public attention. Read Executions, Beheadings and other Propaganda Operations. You should also take a long hard look at Who Really Killed Margaret Hassan.

In Afghanistan, under the Taliban, there was almost no opium grown — therefore no heroin. Now, thanks to the US, and their apparently lax attitude towards stamping out the drugs they always whine about, we’re in the upward curve of huge quantities of heroin heading our way. Read Afghan Poppy Growing Takes A Huge Leap.

To see more proof that some folks just have far too much time on their hands, go read and look at the pictures of what happened when someone decided to — as an experiment in daily usage — Replace Water With Beer.

As those who followed the US elections closely will know, there was a strange and very suspicious difference between the results of exit polls, versus the supposed actual final results. Settle in for some thoughtful reading, and examine the graphs and data at Complete US Exit Poll Data Confirms Net Suspicions.

And here’s another good example of uses the internet can be put to. Try this page which is a collection of pix of people making rude gestures. It’s called Sweary Fingers.

It must be tough being a hamster. Everytime you get the urge to have sex, bright flashes seem to start going off around you as your owner takes pictures. Be afraid, be very afraid as you browse Hamster Porn.

You thought you had the worst job in the world? Well imagine being a dead cat. Not just any stupid dead cat, as found smeared on roads across the country — but a dead cat in the movies: a film prop dead cat. Go and have a look at Mister Marbles.

And if you’re trapped in an office for five days a week, duct-taping a squirrel to your monitor is just one of the very useful suggestions in How To Make Your Work

Better.

So you thought you had problems with spam. Imagine getting over four million spam emails every day. Go find out who’s The World’s Most Spammed Person. You’d imagine that a company who wanted to sell pens would be cautious of how their name looks online. Pen Island (or ‘penisland’, as the Url shows itself at www.penisland.com) shows us that the Sentech effect, as it’s come to be known, is at work here. Go to Penisland.

Speaking of Sentech, the wireless movement seems to be beginning locally with I-Burst already open for business, offering cut-rate deals. Are they going to be better than Sucktech? Time will tell. They’d better get rid of their stupid idea of having a three gig cap though. Make it a 15 gig cap and they’ll make a lot of new friends. Have a look firstly at the guys behind I-Burst, who are part of the

backbone underneath the nationwide “tata ma chance, tata ma f*ckall” scam — Wireless Business Solutions. Then to sniff over the product itself, I-Burst.

Naturally, at this point, as the wireless industry increases locally, do yourself a favour and learn How To Steal Wi-Fi.

So what’s better than clutching your mouse fervently while playing computer games? Correct — clutching a chainsaw with blood on it. It’s actually kind’ve cool in a I-can’t-believe-someone-made-it sort of way. Go stare at The Chainsaw Controller.

Here’s one of those links with an obligatory warning and a disclaimer. It’s kind’ve a geek page for electrical engineers who want to prove their manliness. How? By seeing how many amps you can put through your body without dying. I wouldn’t recommend trying anything this page suggests (unless you really know enough about electricity, to ensure you’re not being set up to make a device that’ll kill you.) All the preliminaries and mutterings of “I’m not responsible” aside, go stare at Make A Tingle-Tron.

Then, to give you a glimpse of just how far we’ve come in a relatively short space of time, go stare in awe at the illustrations from this book from 1971, showing computer punch cards in action. You can also compare the text and pictures between the 1971 version and the 1979 edition of How It Works — The Computer.

And for some equally nostalgia-causing moments, keeping in the “we’ve come a long way, baby” mood, browse through Vintage Videogame Commercials.

Things to make you go “awwwww”: First off, there’s the joys of a really cute Sleeping Kitten With Its Teddy Bear. Or for more cuteness than you can handle, try A Big Pile Of Baby Bunnies.

And then, even though you may not know what a tapir looks like, go find out at Tapir and Baby.

Staying in total cuteness mode, go read both the BBC article, and the ensuing posts from readers below it, of the interview of a couple of 12 year old Goths — Twelve Year Old Goths Speak.

Underground bases time. How about a three kilometer square complex that no one knew existed — least of all the people staying ontop of it. Read the report from the Globe and Mail on Secret Underground City Uncovered in Belgrade.

Then, just to show you that you aren’t half as eccentric as your friends think you are, can you imagine building “fish highways” through your house, so that fish can swim freely and enjoy the view? Look at Fish Highways.

Finally, if you had the idea that people in the past were not as clever as we are now, then see how you do on this test. Its for eighth graders — and it comes from 1895. Go try one of the one-hour tests at Could You Have Passed the Eighth Grade in 1895?.

Until the next time, if Santa doesn’t get me.