/ 5 January 2005

Dream new year’s resolutions for media

So, 2005 is remorsefully underway, and many of us are truculently trickling back from vac. Still, it’s not too late for some new year’s resolutions — a wish list of what could happen in regard to media in the coming months.

I accept that some people long ago resolved to never make any resolutions for an anno novus. But bear with this Initiative for Media Improvement in 2005. Let our spirits be willing, even though the flesh may be predicted to fade. And if you’ve had a few days’ holiday time out from the media, there’s all the more reason to take in these general resolutions for re-engagement.

I can’t promise that you’ll save money, reduce stress, lose weight, have more sex or make new friends — but there will be other benefits.

For example, you could secure yourself a year of more (mental) exercise, less fat and froth, and more fibre and feistiness in your media intake and/or output. You may even experience reduced exposure to the temptations of (news) smoke (and-mirrors).

Or find that you can sometimes do without media as the dop and dope of the masses. Indulge, therefore, the following (draft) resolutions:

1. For viewers of South African TV news:

”Play Spot the Difference in ’05: swap between the English news on e-tv and SABC on alternate days. And make an occasional point to compare one of these bulletins to the news in another language on the same day.”

2. For listeners of SA Radio News:

”Call Tim Modise and Vuyo Mbuli and beg – or berate – them to clear their airwaves of all garrulous gasbags from Ficksburg and Mayfair.”

3. For newspaper readers:

”Once a week, read a different paper to your usual. If you’ve saved a back copy of the now defunct ThisDay, take it out for nostalgic comparison a year to the day.”

4. For web-wanderers:

”Make time to visit bloggers.com; and consider doing your own – that is, unless you’re from Ficksburg or Mayfair with zilch to say.”

5. Writers:

Eschew the formulae — like the recent ”perished in the disaster”; ”locals dig deep to help victims”; ”wave of death”. Let’s have some fresh phrases that can really communicate what’s happening.

6. For broadcasters:

”Increase the intelligence quotient of the entertainment programmes, and the entertainment quotient in the info’ offerings.”

7. For editors:

Be radical and make a public commitment to ethical journalism. Then implement a zero-tolerance policy for offenders, and tell us how it’s going.”

8.For media owners:

”Make 2005 a year to counter over-commercialisation. Act on the reality that sustainable returns require at least some investment in the news-product.”

9. For public relations practitioners:

”Give up the gatekeeping and give access to the real actors.”

10. For advertisers:

”Stop preying on — or is it pandering to? — people’s prejudices. Use your magic arts for more noble purposes like those personified by Harry Potter.”

11. For politicians:

”Learn the 11th commandment: love the media. Warts and all, it’s a part of this democracy!”

I could go on – eleven resolutions is, after all, a rather arbitrary figure. Now, if only we could make them stick … Maybe the trick is to make some more specific – and to name specific people to take these things to heart. Here then are some very particular dream resolutions:

  • Schabir Shaik: ”This is the year I’m giving up trying to manipulate the media coverage in favour of me and Jacob Zuma.”

  • Judge Hilary Squires: ”Broadcasters aren’t welcome in my court, but I’ll let bloggers thrive in 05”.

  • Thabo Mbeki: ”My resolution is to give journalists more to make a meal out of — by converting my once-a-week online column into a twice-weekly.”

  • Deon du Plessis, boss of The Sun tabloid: ”For one edition, I promise no tits, bums or bizarre behaviour by black people”.

  • Snuki Zikakala (MD SABC news) and Joe Thloloe (Head, etv news): ”We’ll jointly scrutinise research findings that indicate that less than two percent of our bulletins over two years have dealt with democracy issues.”

  • Esmaré Weideman, Editor of You magazine which last year published a second-hand ”confession” from the alleged killer of kidnapped student Leigh Matthews: ”Ok, I’ll apologise – not for breaking the sub judice law, but for having paid our source for his fiction.”

  • John Perlman, SAFM: ”Major efforts will be made by me to correctly pronounce the weather announcement which I currently read out as ‘faan and maald”’

  • Ranjeni Munusamy and Vusi Mona¸disgraced journalists over Ngcuka saga and the Hefer Commission: ”Our resolution is simple: to stay out of journalism in 2005”.

    What about me and my personal resolutions? Not for me the resolution reported by Reuters that the United States government urged its citizens to start the new year with a resolution to create a family emergency plan in the event of a terror attack.

    Instead, I considered more mundane pledges like cutting down on the cellphone bill. Or something media-related — like to stop stashing unread newspapers for an unspecified rendezvous in the future.

    Finally, a resolution to get more organised was what I settled on. I just need to know how, but in the meantime there’s an appealing mass of media calling out for priority attention …