The just-ended Zimbabwean parliamentary elections saw a flurry of humorous SMS messages before, during and after the key vote poking fun at the main parties and players and their policies.
Supporters of the country’s main rival parties had their own wordsmiths crafting clever jokes, often taking digs at themselves, like President Robert Mugabe’s Zanu-PF party, which has been slammed for seizing white land for redistribution to blacks.
”First we had to fight for independence, then they created HIV to exterminate us, then we had to seize land…I am voting Zanu-PF to prevent another Australia with us as Aborigines,” was one sent supposedly by ruling Zanu-PF supporters.
Then supporters of the main opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) party, picked their party’s acronym to appeal for votes saying ”M stands for Mom, D for dad and C for children’s parties – vote MDC for family survival, food and jobs.”
On polling day last Thursday, all those who voted were conspicuous with their ink-stained finger, and a new SMS was created: ”Why do you have blood on your hands, have you just slaughtered a cock?” The cock is the ruling party emblem.
Early results on Friday showed the MDC at one time ahead with some 31 seats against Zanu-PF’s seven and gave birth to a message: ”weather forecast on April 1, partly MDC, partly Zanu-PF, by midday a total eclipse will engulf Zanu-PF and there will be a thunderstorm… a tsunami wave will follow”.
With all the elections results in on Saturday night and the ruling Zanu-PF having achieved a crushing victory with 78 seats against the MDC’s 41, there was a ”further outlook: cyclone Zanu-PF will persist for five years causing major disruptions in cities and untold suffering and further isolation”.
The MDC won most of the urban seats in the disputed March 31 elections, but lost nearly a third of the seats it won in 2000, when it was barely a year old.
So another SMS after the full results were out was an offer ”I am selling my relatives in the rural areas. If you buy one get 20 for free, hurry while stocks last.”
”For zhang zhi, zhing zhong and more zhing zhong, vote Zanu-PF,” said another referring to the influx of Chinese, mainly sub-standard goods that local producers say are killing their market. Chinese goods are locally known as zhing-zhongs.
The MDC has rejected the results, describing the process as ”disgusting massive fraud” and calling for fresh polls under a new constitution.
But Zimbabwe’s neighbours and regional bodies have endorsed the poll as free and fair. — Sapa-AFP