/ 25 April 2005

Tears of joy, tremors of fear

Since I started schooling, I learned history from primary school level. I was taught about people like Jan van Riebeeck, Vasco Da Gama, Jan Smuts, the Voortrekkers, and so on. These are people who my parents and sisters and brothers never knew about.

At tertiary level I also took history as my major. The same historical figures came up again. It really tortured me psychologically because I witnessed what was going on in our country – the things I should have been taught about.

In January 2002, I was asked to teach Human, Social, Economic and Management Sciences to a Grade 5 class. It was the first day of school. I took my textbook and went to the classroom. I chose the programme organiser “The struggle for freedom and leaders who died in the struggle”. It covers leaders like Nelson Mandela, Bishop Trevor Huddleston, Chris Hani and Steve Biko.

While I was teaching something amazing happened to me. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. The learners were amazed. In my mind I wished I could grow young again and learn good things – the things these learners are learning nowadays.

Suddenly a deep fear overwhelmed me. I started looking through the windows as if there were soldiers outside waiting to attack us. My heart was beating fast. I was frightened because I thought it was those bad old days and that they would arrest me for teaching the learners politics. I came back to reality and realised what I was teaching was a dream come true for me.