/ 28 April 2005

Nothing but DA truth

An advertisement placed by the Democratic Alliance in last week’s Mail & Guardian had the manne reminiscing about the ethical hijinks of Connie Mulder back in the day. It seems the DA is looking for a ”researcher” and, according to the fine print, they’ll give preference to ”candidates who demonstrate a commitment to the principles, policy and programme of action of the Democratic Alliance”. Dok Rabie said he was open to correction, but he thought finding evidence to back up principles, policy and programmes of action was called rationalisation. Vrot Snoek said he was totally wrong, and went off to do some research.

Put a girl-child to work

Lemmer received an e-mail this week documenting some serious maternal string-pulling on the part of Lumka Yengeni, who is a member of a parliamentary committee on communications and whose husband enjoys 4x4s. Most mums want to launch their children into the world, but Lumka went straight for the Atlas Rocket option, writing to SABC councillor Noluthando Gasa to ask if her little Nandi might be given an opportunity to shadow SABC presenters for a day, as part of the ”take a girl-child to work” campaign in May.

Five minutes of Ya Mamphela’s talking heads is enough to convince Lemmer that the request constituted child abuse, but Ma Yengeni was determined. The second phase booster rocket duly fired and Gasa mailed the request to Solly Mokoetle (adding that little Nandi ”does not mind being placed in Auckland Park for the day”), who ran it by Snuki and the Big Cheeses. First asking for feedback on whether or not Nandi could be accommodated, he quickly added, ”I’m sure we can and I think we need to begin to prepare/strategise for more requests of this nature.” So with this precedent set, can Lemmer expect children of shack-dwellers — or opposition MPs — on the telly next year?

Curveball

The manne were agog over reports from the Visdorp about a man who had his neutered mutt re-packaged with silicone testicular implants. It seems a Staffie without a hefty lunchbox just doesn’t cut it on the mean streets of Sea Point, so the dog’s owner contacted a company called Neuticles, and now the duo can once again strut the promenade and not have to step aside for any well-hung Chihuahuas.

Of course, the manne are mad keen to get their own ancient ratty pets done, and Lemmer is particularly concerned that Mrs Vrot Snoek is going to come home soon to find her girl-cat Betsy sporting a bulge or two …