/ 6 July 2005

Everything you ever wanted to know about movies

You should understand that there’s a serious lack of genuine choice in the films we see in South Africa. This is something that’s hidden in plain sight — unlike, for instance, the obvious monopoly of Telkom.

Almost all the films you see advertised, and almost all the cinemas available, reflect the product chosen by two distributors, who decide simply what will make the most profit — not what the good films are.

The distributors are further “legally” protected and able to sit on the rights of untold thousands of older films that they will never show — and thus prevent film fans from starting their own cinemas, dedicated to specific genres. (Real choice isn’t about getting to choose between this Adam Sandler film or that Lindsay Lohan one. There’s a wider world of film than this.)

So, there’s a frightening lack of diversity and genuine choice at play here, which isn’t talked about in the media — generally because journalists are either not real film geeks or content to be merely paid, uncomplaining propagandists for the film-distribution monopoly in place here.

This lengthy introduction is to give you some sites where you can browse through vast numbers of current and past films that you’ve been deprived of without knowing. Read the reviews, keep sites bookmarked and get used to the idea that we’re seeing only a tiny percentage of the good movies — and perhaps even worse, there are entire genres of films about which we’re being kept ignorant.

One of the great info and review sites that has been around for a while, with lots of attitude and a clear passion for film (and its free newsletter provides a great source of info and reviews on a regular weekly basis), is Film Threat.

To get a taste of a wide range of new legit DVDs available in the market (seeing as this area is also locked up locally by the legal monopoly in place), go soak up the massively varied titles of which we’re being deprived at DVD Talk.

Want to see a sampling of the films they’re not showing you at your local “art house” cinema? Go amble through the many layers of The World Festival of Foreign Films.

If you know nothing about movies and need to start at the very beginning, to not be humiliated at the water cooler when you’re talking movies with geeks at the office, one of the best sites online for the beginner is The Greatest Films.

Good film can be great, but sometimes bad film is way better. Go discover the difference between “good” bad films and simply bad films at Stomp Tokyo!.

See what really bad film is like (and don’t forget to pause by the “racial slur” generator, as well as the “prison bitch name” generator) at Brains on Film.

For latest horror-film news, try the happy, blood-spattered and nicely named Bloody Disgusting. Newbies might also want to browse the massively informative forum. Also read the classic online version of the magazine you were always stared at for buying: Fangoria.

You need to understand that Asian film has many subgenres, and perhaps from the outside looking in it can be a confusing blur with no real clues of how to begin soaking up the huge variety put out by each of the Asian countries. (For instance, Hong Kong films are generally not the same as Chinese, Japanese, Korean or Thai films.)

That said, go see what the latest Hong Kong films are, and which ones to look out for at your local Chinese VCD shop. Browse through the massive list of often incredibly good films at Love HK Film.

Over into Japan, and as a helpful “in-point”, two Japanese directors: The first is a sometimes David Lynch-style filmmaker with more than 50 films under his belt — and each is utterly unique and different from the other, so it’s a vast, fun learning experience watching just the cinema of Takeshi Miike. Read the British Guardian article Blood Isn’t That Scary. (Be aware that the British DVD versions of many Miike films are censored — you’ll need “unrated” and/or “zone 1” versions to see the full film.)

Next is the sometimes violent and sometimes heart-rendingly beautiful and delicate filmmaking of Takeshi Kitano. Read the Guardian article You Can’t Tell What I’m Going To Do Next. (By the way, staying with The Guardian, I got 7 out of 10 at its Japanese film quiz — see how well you do.)

As you can see, Asian film isn’t just chop-suey martial-arts epics — it’s the cutting edge of the most exciting cinema being made in the world today. Spend some time at Asian Film Reviews and wade through the goodies at The Asian Film Foundation or choose your country (China/Korea/Japan) and browse for titles and info at the DVD site Yes Asia!.

For more interesting browsing of legit DVDs, dip into CD Wow. And don’t forget the ultimate resource for any film geek or DVD collector, the wallet-crippling Amazon.

For quick referencing of just about any past or present film title you run across, use the Internet Movie Database. This is also partly linked to by the Movie Review Search Engine.

Keep an eye out for the non-big-studio films, the often amazing titles that appear via the independent (indie) filmmakers (such as last year’s awesome, low-budget sci-fi hit Primer — which I’m told is going to be released and marketed locally sometime in the next few months, as being a great “new” film … yaa right). Go directly to the source and find out what’s hot, at Indie Wire.

Want to start collecting film scripts? They’re small-sized downloads, but for the stamp collector in all of us, there’s nothing finer than building up a great collection of the scripts of your favourite films. The long-running big daddy of film-script collector sites is Drew’s Script-O-Rama. See the list of grabbable titles.

For the two or three scripts in the world that Drew doesn’t have, go completely download-crazy at The Internet Movie Script Database. Also, try to avoid the adverts at All Movie Scripts. Still more film scripts can be found at Simply Scripts.

If you thought collecting scripts was geeky, then get your anorak on and see how geeky you can go, at this site that specialises in finding and detailing Movie Mistakes.

If you’re sick of the mainstream retarded United States films that give you great technical filmmaking but plots and scripts that — even with supposedly adult themes — usually end up nicely resolved with a happy ending, go to a site that tells you the plot and ending, so you can save your money for something that might actually be good. These are called spoilers. Here’s an example — save your money and just read the complete plot (and happy ending) spoiler of Mr & Mrs Smith.

See? After reading that, you know the film, can see it’s total rubbish, and you’ve saved yourself time and money. How about another glossy film for which posters are going up? Read the story and ending of Batman Begins.

For a wide range of films, where you can choose new films for which you’d rather find out quickly what happens than waste energy sitting through stupid adverts, cellphones, conversations and the sound of people eating, go to The Movie Spoiler.

Apparently people still like tarting up their PCs with themes from their favourite films and TV shows — as I’m a grumpy film geek, I don’t hold with all this new-fangled foolishness, but what do I know? Go find a film theme at Cinema Desktop. To find film-related sounds for your PC, to drive you crazy within a few hours, see The Movie Sounds Page. And see what wallpaper your desktop might like at Cinematic Wallpaper.

Hopefully you’ve been given a brief glimpse of the much wider world of films than what the local distributors may have led you to believe exists. And a lot of it can be explored and researched online — prior to beginning the bank-breaking hobby of importing titles for your own pleasure.

Until the next time, if film-distributor death squads don’t get me.