If anyone has ever had a raw deal from the print media it is this wretched man, Lawrence Mushwana. Just like many other victims of the poisoned word processors of today’s journalists, our Public Protector has recently been all but hanged, drawn and quartered in a series of viciously unbalanced newspaper articles.
In an effort to restore some sanity to yet another example of despicable media hypocrisy, I went along to the offices of the Public Protector to get his side of the story. When the Public Protector’s personal assistant heard what paper I write for, she looked at me as one looks at a globule of vomit that’s suddenly appeared on one’s shoe.
“No, you may not speak to Comrade Mushwana. He is in retreat,” she hissed. “Recovering from the unremitting media assault on his integrity made in yours and other newspapers. Whitewash! Indeed!”
I gently insisted on talking to someone and eventually, with a lot of huffing and sniffing, I was ushered into the office of the PP Spokesmale.
Sinking into a deep silken Afghan sofa, I began by asking him why there has been such an uproar about Mr Mushwana’s findings on the Oilgate scandal.
“Typical”, he muttered. “Calling it a scandal means you’ve already made up your mind that there’s been something underhand going on.” He nibbled thoughtfully on a toasted macadamia nut as he spoke.
“I’m so sorry,” I blustered, leaning over to snatch a handful of devilled oysters from a laden canapÃ