/ 31 August 2005

Get some geek superpowers

I always am disturbed by people who seem to take pride in not knowing anything about computers. Especially if they use the things on a daily basis. That’s so passive and victim-like, it’s sick.

The more you know, the less you need to be a passive, whiney, helpless consumer, at the mercy of evil geeks who will generally do their best to rip you off. They say they won’t. But they’re probably lying, trust me on this.

So, this week, instead of you sitting on hold, hoping the PC techie won’t charge you too much, here’s an assortment of help and techie sites that will get you the answers you need — and, if you browse them, will teach you enough to start you on the path towards having special geek super powers of your own. Stop doing that with Robin, Batman, and let’s go exploring.

You should know that there’s a difference between viruses, spyware and trojans — and no matter what the nice man at the computer store said when he sold you Antivirus Package X, no single application will stop them all.

Now check your PC online to make sure it is clean and has no viruses, at Trend Micro’s HouseCall.

(By the way, if you’re sitting with a program file that you’d like to run but you’re scared it might be a virus, you can upload it at this next site to be auto-scanned for you by a range of antivirus software. Go to Online Malware Scan.)

If you can’t wait to get all that lovely free pirated music you’ve been hearing people complain about, before you download and install a peer-to-peer program, consult Spyware Info: Clean and Infected File-Sharing Programs.

Okay, for you slaves at the office — if your problem has to do with Excel, try this entire forum dedicated to Excel, at Mr Excel’s Message Board. Or, if you’re stuck with a document that evil incontinent gnomes seem to have wet and corrupted somehow, then you need Office Recovery.

Got MS Word problems? And if you’re fiddling with Adobe software and PDF files, then there’s the online authority known as The PDF Zone.

There are still people in the world who think that having an e-mail address with a service provider is a good thing (and these poor folk tend to use Outlook Express for their mail, instead of a free, online e-mail account). So, naturally, the problems start. Here are some Online Tutorials for Users of Outlook.

Your PC has decided to give you an error message. Do you hurl abuse, consult an error-message help site or phone a geek to come round and fix things for a R300 call-out “on site” fee? Correct, go directly to Windows Error Messages Help Site.

You decided that despite having a PC, you’ll add to the ongoing destruction of the world’s forests by buying a printer. Now it’s gone wrong — and I don’t mean it’s staying up late, smoking and listening to rock’n’roll. Do you spend money, or do you, as they say in those feminist kung fu self-defence classes, take charge of your own life? Right. Go to Fix Your Own Printer.

Again, instead of immediately taking your malfunctioning PC or equipment into some overpriced geek limbo hell where you are going to be charged big money for regardless of what is wrong, take the time to explore whether other people have had the same problem, and fixed it themselves. (“Warranty? We don’ need no steenking warranty!”) Have look and see if you can fix it yourself at Suggest a Fix PC Support Forum. Then also try Free Computer Help, or get lost for days at the massive resources at Annoyances.

For even more collections of questions (and answers), ranging from the simple to the fairly complex, Ask Dave. There are still more thousands of people willing to help you out for free, on the discussion boards at Support Freaks.

For more of the human touch, look through the Q&As, and if you can’t find the answers to your questions, ask away at Free Computer Technical Support.

You’ll need to register if you want to ask questions, but you can browse through a lot of questions from computer newbies, which can be amazingly helpful — go look through the computer section at Ask Me Helpdesk (or go straight to the Computer Beginners’ Section).

If you’re running Windows XP, then by now you’ll have discovered she’s a strange and huffy little strumpet with a mind of her own at times (usually when you’re on deadline or midway through a torrid online chat session). Thankfully there are sites such as The Windows XP Fix Zone (choose your choice of subject on menu at left).

There is more XP-related stuff (although if you’re a beginner, I utterly do not recommend turning off “System Restore” as they suggest) at 101 Tips and Tweaks for Windows.

The big site CNet weighs into the fun, with more help, at Online Instructor-Led PC Courses. Read simple forums dedicated to the different IT Categories and their main overall help page, CNet Help.

For the wireless warriors struggling to make it all work without any damn cables to throw against a wall, get your wireless networking answers at Practically Networked.

For the more advanced user, there’s a lot of fun tips at XP Common Problems and Gotchas.

Need some free software that you can use, which won’t cost anything at all? Go look over The Top 46 Free Utilities for Your PC.

Finally, many people think that having an e-mail address with their internet service provider (ISP) is a good thing. I’d suggest it isn’t. (If you feel like changing from your ISP, suddenly you can’t, because all your e-mails would have to change. Some new net users actually keep paying local ISPs just for the e-mail address. Euww.)

Naturally, the local ISPs love it that their users tie themselves down to having e-mail via their services — once you’re signed up and using their e-mail servers, odds are good you’ll decide it is too much bother to change. *slap*

Get an online free e-mail account, which means that you can be anywhere in the world, and be able to login, send and receive e-mail without any problems at all. All you need is a browser. Bypass the ISPs completely and stash your e-mail online — for free, at Hotmail or Yahoo! Mail.

Until the next time, if unemployed PC techies don’t get me.

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