Thembi Sibisi encourages the young women she tutors to think of men as asses. ”In a pumpkin field, donkeys take a single bite from each pumpkin and if they are not happy with the taste, move on to the next. They don’t care if hundreds are left to rot. Men do the same. They ‘taste’ women until they find one they want to marry,” Sibisi tells them.
She is an umhloli, or traditional Zulu virginity tester. And she makes no apologies for her profession. ”I’ll go on testing for as long as girls want it.” The Children’s Rights Bill — which will outlaw virginity testing for girls under 18 — would not stop her, she said. ”They may as well arrest me. [Nelson] Mandela went to jail for what he believed in and, when he got out, everybody accepted his views were not so strange. Maybe they will realise virginity testing is meant to build our nation, not destroy it.”
A resident of Thokoza’s Mshayazafe (”beat him to death”) hostel — once the centre of the hostel-based war in the East Rand township — Sibisi believes she is fighting the imposition of modern Eurocentric education on traditional Zulu culture.
She invoked the Bible to justify testing, including the teaching that the body is God’s temple and the commandment to respect one’s parents.
”Ukuhlola [testing] has always been part of our culture. It is to ensure children are not left alone to make life-changing decisions before they’re ready. Children pick up a red-hot coal because they don’t know it’ll burn them. Parents must make sure this doesn’t happen.”
Sibisi accused ”ignorant people” of saying ”we insert our fingers into children”. ”We know this is the last thing you should do to a maiden,” she said. However, it is also a misconception that ”all we do is open girls’ thighs”.
According to Sibisi, testers look out for signs that include certain lines below a girl’s eyes, behind her knees and on her breasts. A trained eye could determine whether the tearing of the hymen was the result of intercourse or other factors.
She claimed the system was foolproof because it involved a second opinion. ”In October, abahloli [testers] from KwaZulu-Natal will come here to test our girls and we’ll test theirs. More than one person makes the determination.” The testers also conduct workshops for girls, ”teaching them why they should wait for marriage before engaging in sex, teaching them beadwork and talking about how a young woman must behave. ”We teach them ubuntu and respect for their parents and themselves. If they’re shy, they’re taught how to speak in public.” Two types of workshop are held — for girls who are not yet dating and those already romantically involved and engaged to be married. Those who pass the test are issued with certificates.
Sibisi said it is a myth that young women are forced into testing. They come by choice. ”I get calls from people I don’t know asking for directions to my place because they want to be tested. These days I even get calls from coloured girls. Sometimes we get girls who admit they were injured. We don’t chase them away. You can’t throw your daughter into the streets because she made a mistake; you must counsel her and ensure she returns to the right path.”
Testers have detected the sexual abuse of children and had the perpetrators arrested. And girls who have lost their virginity as a result of rape are treated as virgins.
Men marrying Sibisi’s graduates must themselves undergo three HIV tests. If they are positive, the bride-to-be is left to decide whether to continue with the marriage.
Sibisi said the girls’ fiancÃ