It’s that time of the year again. It’s the season of Goodwill. And so, according to a Sunday newspaper, King Goodwill Zwelithini has asked for R15-million to upgrade the royal fleet.
No frankincense. No myrrh. No gold. Not for this king. Just a few German sedans, thank you very much. The Premier of KwaZulu-Natal, S’bu Ndebele, who obviously doubles up as Father Christmas, indicated that this year’s budget limitations mean that the king’s — rather large — Christmas stocking will be a little on the empty side. But, no doubt, the treasury elves will be put to work on the provincial budget shortly to ensure that the royal household gets to travel in the style to which it has become accustomed.
As long as there are taxpayers, there will always be room at the inn for the king, his wives, children, grandchildren and wives-to-be. And why look for rooms at the (Holiday) Inn, when the Sheraton is so much more fit for a king?
‘Tis also the season to be jolly. So, be jolly careful when hanging out at shopping malls, for this is the season when the Wild West leaves the cinema screens at the mall, and comes soon to you in the form of ex-military cowboys wielding AK-47s, as they do their version of Christmas shopping. Be jolly, but also be jolly careful at those end-of-year office parties where you never know who — or what — you may pick up. And be jolly careful on the roads. Arrive alive. Simply don’t drive. Rather wait for the Gautrain.
It’s also that time of the year known as the silly season. And nowhere will you see this more aptly illustrated than in our theatres. For this is the period when theatres believe that they can actually make some money by staging mindless spectacles that attract party-mood audiences, looking for a laugh and a drink, subsidised by their company as a reward for not having done anything to get themselves fired during the course of the preceding year.
The Johannesburg Civic Theatre, the premier receiving house in the country, leads the way as always with a Janice Honeyman pantomime, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Not that this theatre has a problem attracting audiences during the rest of the year. Last year 364 000 people bought tickets to see shows there — about 1 000 people for each day of the year. It would take 16 full cricket stadiums seating 22 000 people to reach a similar figure in one year.
Elsewhere, there are musicals, notably Ghoema by David Kramer and Taliep Petersen at the Baxter and Mbongeni Ngema’s Nikeziwe at the Market; big spectacle dance shows like Pieter Toerien’s Sleeping Beauty on Ice at Artscape; ”adult entertainment” in Durban in the form of Jack and His Big Stalk; and Ladies Night at the Liberty Life Theatre on the Square, billed as ”the perfect end-of-year entertainment”.
So, get out there and do your bit for the silly season. Buy a ticket — or 20 — to a show at a theatre near you, and help to subsidise a forthcoming season of a more serious production.