Consternation, alarm mixed with quickly suppressed delight, has arisen in African National Congress ranks at the announcement that Minister of Environment, Tourism and Political Hypocrisy, Marthinus van Schalkwyk, is to enter the race for the presidency of South Africa.
Only a handful of years ago, Van Schalkwyk was the shameless leader of the New National Party, a political body largely held in contempt as being a remaindered version of the apartheid government. That the NNP’s former lord and master now sits snugly on the third finger of the left hand of President Thabo Mbeki is a truly amazing development. It shows once and for all that emotionally driven party divisions are things of the past in our Brave New South Africa.
The controversial ANC-inspired and engineered floor-crossing exercises are now elegantly vindicated by Van Schalkwyk’s announcement that he feels ready to step in, yet another selfless white man eager to guide South Africa along the road to a fulfillment of the precious democratic ideals for which, over the long and terrible years of the struggle, so many laid down their lives and hopes. Mbeki’s earlier and willing absorption of the often despised and pitied ‘Kortbroek” into his Cabinet was further proof that our president is gifted with extraordinarily uncanny powers of foresight.
In lending both moral and practical backing to Van Schalkwyk’s soaring presidential ambitions, Mbeki has also once again demonstrated his well-known humility in the face of pragmatism. He knows that Van Schalkwyk comes from a long line of Afrikaans political forebears, stretching back more than 300 years. These have been men dedicated and unwavering in their development and management of this country and its diverse cultural and ethnic backgrounds. Recognising the incalculable value of such experience, Mbeki easily sets aside the restricting tribulations of loyalty to his own party. No matter how despicable, pompous and self-serving someone’s political career has been, no matter how rank and filthy the political territory he once crawled out of, Mbeki will find a place for him in today’s ANC.
Jacob Zuma will, of course, also be in the running for the presidency come the end of Mbeki’s coruscant dominion. Zuma’s chances will depend on the outcome of his forthcoming trials for rape and corruption, which kick off in February. Kortbroek van Schalkwyk should pray that Zuma is found not guilty. A guilty verdict will make him a far more attractive prospect for the followers and sponsors he attracts in such happy droves from among the pulsating ranks of the ANC Youth League, the South African Communist Party, DaimlerChrysler and other crucibles of political sophistication.
Not that Van Schalkwyk is without some maggot-infested skeletons in his cupboard. The jury is still out on how deep his involvement was in the granting of permission for yet another luxury golf-course estate, this to an Italian nobleman who had, coincidentally, topped up the coffers of the NNP at a time when Kortbroek was still its baas. In his defence, Kortbroek has said that he knew nothing of this ethically picturesque transaction, that it took place behind his back and under the counter. Another one-time colossus of the NNP, Pieter Marais, is currently facing the music on that one.
There was also a certain earlier incident involving Kortbroek and a wildly attractive, young, coloured, male prisoner. But there’s no profit in bringing up such peccadillos when a country’s future is at stake.
That Kortbroek van Schalkwyk promises a lot has never been in question. Not the Mail & Guardian raises its own clenched fist in salute to his campaign for the presidency.
No business like no business
We cannot but agree with the courageous stance taken by the Congress of Stupendously Asinine Trade Unionists (Cosatu) that, during 2006, South Africa needs to be brought to its knees every week by unified rolling strike action. There is nothing quite as effective in the daunting but unavoidable task of furthering the causes of a young and vital democracy as costing the economy several hundred million rands every week. If Cosatu can up the stakes to week-long, instead of these petty day-long, token strikes, think what unheard level of costs will eventuate.
The upcoming trials of ex-deputy president Jacob Zuma have been like manna from heaven to Cosatu, giving the organisation yet more valid reasons to instruct its workers to take to the streets and vandalise all in their path. No chance is ever wasted by Cosatu.
As the factories fall silent, as the retail chains close their doors, as fuel runs out and the transport systems grind to a halt, as the mines shut down, as international car manufacturers sorrowfully move their assembly plants to Korea and China, Cosatu will stand proud behind its starving but valiant workers, denied even the chance of a low wage to complain about.
The inspiring slogan: ‘An injury to one is an injury to all”, will never have a more telling ring. As the country collapses into Zimbabwe-like poverty, Cosatu will know that its uncompromising stance has borne truly dignified fruit. —