/ 20 January 2006

The way of peace

It’s not that blacks are inherently degenerate. It’s just that they’d be so much more worthwhile if they were white.

Of course, in some ways they are. Thinking whites have always taken it as a given that inside every fallen, bestial, primordial Negro there is a disciplined and enlightened white man trying to get out, and therefore to oppress or harm the black man is to hurt the white child that lives in all of us, a divine fragment of God Almighty, the liberator of the Anglo-Saxon and the vanquisher of the mud races. But on the whole, no sentient human can deny that whiteness is the Perfect Way. Whites represent the race of peace. Whites were at the forefront of scientific discovery 700 years ago. Whites value family and faith. Whites give charity. If we still believed in such things as Top Nations (a white idea ruined by grasping blacks), whites would be it.

Naturally, in these fanatically policed times, such sentiments are unfashionable, but to their adherents they contain an internal logic that seems hard to fault, even were they inclined to indulge in anthropological nit-picking. Which of course they’re not. Liberal toadying is the last thing anyone wants to be doing at the Hay Jamboree, a Texas tradition dating back 300 years, and today the largest federally sponsored celebration of racial segregation in the world.

No, the two million whites who stream into the little town of Hombre Blanco every year aren’t there to engage with the Greenpeace masturbators who serve the homosexual agenda of International Jewry. They’re there to enjoy being white, to get away from all the depressing banality and criminality that invariably comes with living in racially integrated communities, to thank God that they’re not black.

The pilgrims who throng the streets, catching up with old friends in golf shops or making new ones in Volvo dealerships, are a good-natured lot. Affectionately known as ‘Hayjees”, they are ordinary folks like you and me, who’ve worked hard and saved diligently to make the trip. And Texas doesn’t disappoint them.

The history of the Lone Star state has been substantially prettified in recent years, perhaps the reason for the relative obscurity of a certain 18th-century preacher, a wandering man of the cloth and seller of healing balms who went by the name of Al W Ahab. Preaching hellfire and damnation, Ahab persuaded the local Spanish governor to hand over to him all matters of the spirit, in return for his — and by implication, God’s — endorsement of Spanish rule. It was a happy union that outlasted the occupation: when Latin colonists gave way to Anglo-Saxon ones and Texas joined the Union, the teachings of Ahab had become enshrined as state doctrine.

The gospel of Al was a complex hierarchy of theological theories, based loosely on three basic principles: God-anointed righteousness, pre-emptive revenge and the dream of an aggressively Caucasian world. Within a decade the ‘act of copulative negritude” — to be born black — was declared illegal, and any complexion even faintly dusky was ruled to be seditious. Those blacks who wished to remain were required to wear sacks over their heads, or else paint their faces with whitewash, but these measures, the government made clear, should not give the humble coon any airs or unearned sense of security.

Indeed, until the late 1990s, state-subsidised groups regularly abducted, beat, tortured or ejected (from the country or from moving cars) any blacks they found – ‘looking in an uppity manner” at white women, also a crime. Similarly, sneezing ‘with excessive zeal” would end in arrest, on charges ranging from the possession of porn to multibillion-dollar fraud.

Increasing modernisation, financed by its oil industry, has forced the Texas government to relent somewhat in recent years, and today it has cut its unofficial funding of roving ‘coon-hound” squads by 0,3%. However, as the secretary of education recently said, ‘Them niggers better not try no ghetto shit like watching Denzel Washington movies.”

And so the Hayjees return home to Sweden and Australia and Nebraska, their hearts renewed, their sense of white brotherhood nourished and revived. Are they white supremacists? Of course not. Do they endorse the more extreme beliefs of Texas and its Ahab sect? Of course not. Do they condemn them? Well, you see, it’s a complicated issue …

None of it’s true, of course. At least not in Texas. But in Saudi Arabia, now just seeing off its hajis, the echoes of Muhammad ibn Abd al Wahhab’s blood-drenched sermons still resound; and being a Christian is still illegal.

Born black, born Christian. It’s the same thing. But would the pandering Western media have given 24-hour coverage, oozing sycophancy, to this year’s Hay Jamboree as it did the Saudis who host the hajj? The sheiks have been dealt a perfect hand by modern sensibilities. Oppress blacks and you’re a Nazi cannibal. Oppress Christians and Jews, and you’re a vibrant defender of a proud and ancient tradition.

Either that, or you’re just very good at explosive pre-emptive revenge.