The manne at the Dorsbult aren’t denying that sabotage at Koeberg is a possibility. But jislaaik, an e-mailed confession sent to a radio station the night before the election? Just how stupid does Alec Erwin think we are? But now that it’s out in the open, perhaps he can explain some things, like why he chose Tuesday to publicise allegations that first surfaced four months ago. Or he might explain how low-tech fifth columnists got into one of the country’s most secure facilities. Or he might just show us proof.
Good night and good luck
An official-sounding notice allegedly spotted in a Cape Town grotto this week spoke volumes. ”Due to electricity constraints … the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.”
I tax dead people …
Ja-nee, said Dok Rabie the other day, all we can really count on in the end are death and taxes. Having misheard, Vrot Snoek launched into a diatribe against death and taxis, suggesting they were the same thing. But talk quickly turned back to life’s two great audits that come to us all at some stage, and inevitably Brett Kebble and his reported R183-million tax bill came up. But things got downright spooky when Oom Krisjan let slip the name of the revenue service official in charge of the claim: Pieter Posthumus. Genuine.
Noddy badges for all
The mayor of Prieska in the Noordkaap, one Lillian Valacia, has awarded herself a mark of 100%. Lemmer isn’t exactly sure what this means — presumably her worthy administration sits down every year and officials stick gold stars on their own foreheads. But he did find her logic fascinating: ”I score myself 100% because I did it from the bottom of my heart,” she told News24 this week. The bottom of the heart, but not the front of the brain.
Action!
Dominee Nogmaal Nagmaal Naude is boycotting this year’s Oscars, on the grounds that gay cowboy fliek Brokeback Mountain could trigger a glut of gay remakes of his favourite fillems. Oom Krisjan reckons he should worry less about the possibility of seeing The Gods Must Be Queer and Boetie Gaan Kaalgat Border Toe, and more about the prospect of seeing Leonardo DiCaprio playing a South African mercenary in the forthcoming Blood Diamond. Leo can’t do anything about looking like a pretty girl from Klerksdorp, so it will all depend on his accent. Will it be Michael Caine meets Mitchells Plain? Or will he just opt for Russian Australian like all the others who try and fail to do Sarth Efrican?