The last thing Elijah Mathibela expected when his phone rang on Easter Monday was to be told of deaths in the community. The broken bodies of three young women were lying behind a shopping centre in Mamelodi West, Pretoria. They were murdered. Mathibela, the principal of Jafta Mahlangu High, could not help but wonder whether they were among his charges.
When his worst fears were confirmed, the killings shattered learners and teachers alike. Only days before, Tsholofelo Aphane (19) and Lerato Danisa (19) were sitting in class, chatting to friends and walking on the playground. The third victim, Lindiwe Mbonani (18), was enrolled at Prosperi-tus High in nearby Eersterus.
Mathibela said that learners, particularly the classmates of the young women, were visibly shaken and traumatised. ‘You must remember that the bodies were discovered during the school holidays, and some of our learners actually saw them. This had a huge emotional effect on them,” he said.
But Jafta Mahlangu High and Prosperitus High are not the only institutions that have had to deal with tragedy in recent times. At Sikhanyisile Primary School, also in Mamelodi, a learner was shot dead by a learner from a nearby school. At Steve Tshwete Secondary School in Olivehoutbosch near Pretoria a 16-year-old boy was stabbed to death by another learner.
Janine Shamos, a high school educator, senior counsellor and trainer who is involved with the South African Depression and Anxiety Group, says that during tragedies like these learners appreciate the support of teachers and staff members.
‘Just being available and approachable is often what it takes to prevent learners from sinking into deep depression. Talk to them, value what they say, never judge what they are telling you and support them — allow them to say what they need to and grieve in a way they feel comfortable with. Remember that not everyone cries, and that is okay,” she says.
Because teachers feel they have to support learners, they often feel very alone. ‘It is important for staff to support each other and for them to also express their emotions. Teachers shouldn’t feel that they have to be hard and tough. It is okay for their learners to see that they are upset.” Forget the ‘teacher role”, just be human, is Shamos’s advice.
The affected schools have been receiving counselling from the Department of Education and the education district office.
Mathibela said the department sent a team of psychologists to do group and one-on-one sessions with learners. The school also received a lot of support from various local organisations, in particular moral support from ministries.
Busi Mathonsi, who is the head of the life-orientation department at Jafta Mahlangu High, said the district education office had been helpful, and local psychologists and Lifeline had also offered help. But, she said, teachers would continue to keep a keen eye on the behaviour of some of the learners.
Most of the nine provincial departments of education have some sort of support system in place to help schools deal with death.
Christie Naudé, spokesperson of the KwaZulu-Natal department of education, said the department had a fully operational psychological support service to help learners and teachers who experienced trauma. The province has also been hit by a spate of tragedies recently.
‘There are 240 qualified counsellors based in 12 district offices across the province. When a tragedy occurs, we dispatch a team that visits affected schools and gives counselling,” said Naudé.
The Western Cape is another province that has had its fair share of school-related violence and deaths.
Gert Witbooi, the provincial spokesperson, said his department has in place a multi- sectoral and holistic programme that works closely with the community.
‘We have a safe-schools programme, which is essentially about ensuring the physical safety of schools. This comprises school communities, police and the immediate communities,” said Witbooi.
He said the other element of the strategy was about violence prevention, but also counselling and debriefing when it could not be prevented.
‘We also have an employee wellness programme specifically for employees who may be experiencing personal problems such as finance, marriage or stress related to their jobs,” said Witbooi.
Emotional reactions to loss
When people experience a traumatic loss, there are certain emotional reactions that may occur.
- There is a strong sense of disbelief initially and the knowledge takes time to settle in and be accepted. It is very difficult, especially for the youth, to accept the death of someone close to them — more so if that person was their age.
- Guilt is strongly associated with loss and needs to be addressed. People often feel that had they gone to the movies, accepted the date, for example, this person would not have died. There is often guilt surrounding not having said the things to the person who has died that they would have liked to have expressed.
- Anger is a common reaction to loss. Anger at the person for rejecting or abandoning his friends; anger at God for allowing it to happen; anger at themselves for not being a better friend.
- Fear is normal — fear that they will die, or other people close to them will die.
- They may experience trouble concentrating, sleeping and eating. This is normal and to be expected.
- There are obviously feelings of loneliness, great loss and a vast emptiness.
The way forward
It is vital that support be given to all those affected by the death:
- An opportunity for people to express how they feel, what emotions they are experiencing and their reactions to the death as soon as possible, and on an ongoing basis for a week or so, is crucial.
- Allow people to cry or express their emotions and fears in a safe, contained environment.
- Discuss the issues of guilt, fear, anger, et cetera. It is very important to normalise these feelings — these are normal reactions to an abnormal situation.
- Focus also on the positive memories and experiences with the person who has died. This shifts the attention from grieving and mourning to celebrating the person’s life.
- Holding and attending a funeral or memorial service is very important in order to gain closure and to start the process of healing. This service can be traditional or an unconventional, non-denominational service that pays tribute to the person and his character and life.
- The South African Depression and Anxiety Group offers debriefing for staff and learners, as well as programmes on how to deal with trauma and loss. They also offer talks to teachers, parents and learners on various issues, such as suicide prevention, depression and anxiety, as well as exam stress. They can be contacted on (011) 783 1474/6.