Hamburgers are to Cape Town cuisine what coloureds are to South African racial politics — everybody has an opinion on what defines the perfect hamburger. And the hamburger itself is often torn between two worlds that either try to claim it as their own, or that reject its aspirations to be part of their camp.
So, to some, a hamburger is one of those effete concoctions you get at Primi Piatti in Canal Walk, with a flat patty on one side of the plate, garnish on the other and the burger’s buns splayed apart in a submissive posture that has nothing to do with the burger’s willingness to be consumed.
To others, a burger is a more robust creation, a chunky bit of beef wedged between two firmly squashed-together halves of a roll, the garnish an afterthought.
It’s not as black and white as that, I know. But if you embark on a search for the perfect hamburger in Cape Town, the hamburger that not only tastes good but that is a peculiarly Capetonian hamburger, you have to bear these issues in mind.
When I asked people to nominate the best burger in Cape Town, there was no shortage of passionate suggestions. From the ever popular, and perhaps overly massive, burger with grated cheddar at Saul’s Saloon in Sea Point, to the finicky lamb burger with mint sauce at Long Street’s Royale, everyone had a favourite.
But none of those hamburgers meet the first two rules of a good burger: you have to be able to hold it in your hand and it should only take five or six bites to finish.
No, the best burger in Cape Town is the Yankys cheese and mushroom hamburger (R16,90). It’s a burger that embodies all the characteristics that make Capetonians the appealing subculture that they are. It’s cheap, a little slow to arrive, but when you finally sink your teeth into it, it is tasty, succulent and unfussy.
Yankys is an American-themed burger joint with a Joycean disregard for apostrophes. Its tatty, 1970s decor owes nothing to the current fad for retro chic and everything to economic malaise. The floors are a riot of red, white and blue tiles and a giant statue of a blue-collar Yankee stands guard beside the door. On the walls are humorous signs, such as the one appositely displayed under the signed poster of Cindy Crawford (‘To Yankys, love Cindyâ€), which reads: ‘Thou shalt not commit adultry [sic]. Take a Blondie Burger home instead.â€
Everything about Yankys screams Cape Town. The utterly crap humour of the bar signs. The blithe worship of all things American, coupled with absolutely no understanding of what that America is (best exemplified by the curious spelling of Yankys).
None of the other candidates for best burger really cut the mustard. In fact, sin of sins, many of them actually used mustard. The Yankys burger comes with rough cheddar, some chunky mushrooms and a misshapen hunk of fatty beef patty. Add to that a white roll, some strong raw onion, a slice of juicy tomato, a hint of crisp lettuce and you have the best burger you’ll get in Cape Town.
Find Yankys at 258 Voortrekker Road, Parow. Tel: (021) 939 2836