Recently something truly amazing happened. Paris Hilton, the United States’s first name in famous-for-being-famous, got her come-uppance: the heiress was sentenced to 45 days in jail for driving without a licence and thus violating the terms of her probation in a drivingÂÂ-under-the-influence incident. In her appeal to the Los Angeles court, Hilton sniffled that she didn’t understand the terms of her probation, that she has people read her mail for her, and when it comes to legal matters, ”I just sign what people tell me to sign.” As modern US history dictates that such explanations, combined with Hilton’s fame, money and expensive blond hair extensions, are more than enough to get any celebrity off the hook, this incredibly rare instance of punishment has resulted in a nation fixated with the drama of a silly girl faced with serving soft time for being an idiot.
How did we get to this point, and where did this young woman come from? Hilton is a media Frankenstein. Her ubiquitous nightlife presence, perceived aura of fabulousness and inane conduct made her a tabloid fixture, and she is perhaps our first celebutante, someone who does nothing but exist.
Hilton, however, was never content to merely be the US’s party girl. She wanted to be talented, and so, of course, went on reality TV. Hence the creation of The Simple Life, a programme that would follow Hilton and her sidekick, fellow heiress Nicole Richie, as they roamed the country learning how to flip burgers and interact with farm animals. Just before this bit of programming genius began, however, Hilton’s sex tape was leaked. So if you didn’t know who she was before, now you knew her as the rich girl whose night-vision sex video you watched on the net. This was gold for The Simple Life, which was designed to capitalise on Hilton’s dumb-rich-girl image. It premiered shortly after and, riding her publicity, was a huge success.
And so it came to be that Paris, hate her as we may, could do no wrong. In fact, the more wrong she was, the better she did. Among her winning offences: a failed engagement to a man with the same first name; drunk driving; being photographed with what just about everyone believes was marijuana in her purse; having her cellphone hacked and thereby leaking phone numbers for half of young Holly-wood; getting into feuds with actor-singer Lindsay Lohan; ”accidentally” exposing her vagina to paparazzi on multiple occasions; and supposedly having a prescription for a herpes medication.
What’s fascinating about Hilton is her refusal to do penance for her imbecilic sins. The nature of American celebrity is such that when a star commits some sort of ”crime”, the star apologises. The apology is either explicit (and most often delivered with eye- rolling earnestness), or implicit (a trip to rehab with no public comment). Hilton, however, eschews these rules. That’s what makes her jail sentence all the more shocking — some superhuman judge was actually able to punish her like a normal person.
It’s hard to fathom that someone so shameless is genuine, and so one wonders if, God forbid, Hilton is a whole lot smarter than we think.
There’s something amazing about her, not just as a phenomenon but as a human being. To personify everything that’s wrong with US culture? That’s an incredible feat. Americans may be oversexed, overprivileged, materialistic, unintelligent, fake, vain, vapid and vulgar, but few manage to embody all these traits at the same time. And of that select few, perhaps no one but Hilton is willing to epitomise these flaws in front of thousands of adoring cameras. And while those cameras will continue to bring her success, it remains to be seen if the prison security cameras take to her quite so kindly. — Â