Two years ago I wrote a piece for the Mail & Guardian on personal finance for women. This paper felt it was too sexist and that finance is gender neutral.
Men and women experience money differently. I know equality in money does not exist because women continue to be paid less than their male counterparts simply because they do not feel comfortable about asking for a raise.
Finance is not gender neutral because women who stay at home to raise children are not valued in monetary terms and few have their own savings. Research shows that women have far less money at retirement yet, on average, outlive men by seven years.
When women divorce they are on average in a worse financial situation, while men are financially better off.
When I worked for a stockbroker, most men would come without their wives to discuss their financial affairs and I knew their wives had no clue about the state of their husband’s finances. Women often lie to their partners about how much they spend on shoes or handbags because they know men will think the sums ludicrous, but are quite happy to spend a similar amount on a golf club.
I have girlfriends who are highly skilled and in powerful jobs who admit that they leave the finances to their husbands because it is easier to spend money when you don’t know your financial situation. And I know a woman whose husband refuses to discuss their finances with her and she is terrified that he has not made enough provision for retirement.
We need to admit that there are still many women, and men, who believe that it is the husband’s job to look after the family finances. I feel sorry for men because they carry an enormous financial burden, which often they do not feel they can discuss with their wives for fear of appearing to be less of a man.
Yet women, when empowered, make excellent financial decisions. Women tend to worry more about the future, which makes them far better at making decisions about savings.
We know from experience that when women are faced with a crisis and are forced to take control of their finances they do it really well. My mother is a case in point. Having been left widowed with nothing but debts, today she is a financially independent woman with greater financial security than she ever had during her marriage.
I confess that while I was building up my freelance career I left the household finances to my husband until one day I discovered that we were in serious debt. I knew then it was time to take control and today we no longer have an overdraft facility.
A friend, who decided it was time to face reality, took over the household finances and put her husband on a budget. He loves the challenge of trying to stick to it and she feels far more empowered knowing they are now living within their means.
It is time to start talking more openly about these issues and admitting that there is a problem with the way women and finances are perceived by society. Let’s have no more adverts about the wife’s spending habits and let’s see more women taking their finances seriously.