If you are reading this, chances are you are not in Paris. Neither am I. This is the story of how that sad eventuality occurred, but don’t imagine I am bitter and twisted. Far from it. I shall be watching the World Cup final in the manner of the majority of South Africans, on the television with a beer in one hand and some braaied meat in the other. When the final whistle goes I shall celebrate two things: victory for the Springboks and saving myself R50 000.
It all began on Saturday night as the curtain fell on England’s dramatic victory against France. My wife suggested that if we could get match tickets it might be nice to go to Paris, it being a foregone conclusion that the Springboks would beat Argentina in the second semifinal.
So we began to surf. And we surfed and we surfed and do you know what? No flights. SAA, British Airways and Air France were our first ports of call. No flights. Then KLM, Lufthansa, Alitalia, Iberia. No flights, not into Paris or London anyway. So we looked at every other European hub we could think of or Google. Eventually we got a flight on Emirates, via Dubai to Newcastle for R7 000 a head, return.
But there was a problem. The return flight was on Sunday at 1.40pm and the 9pm kick off time for the final made it physically impossible to get to Newcastle in time for the return flight. Before you ask why I couldn’t return the next day, I have a four-and-a-half-year-old daughter who was going to be left with long-suffering friends in KwaZulu-Natal. Some father I am.
To cut a long story short, we decided that the only way we were going to get to Paris was if one of the major carriers decided to put on extra flights. On Monday morning I pulled some strings and spoke to Robyn Chalmers, SAA head of group corporate affairs. She said that there were no plans to put on extra flights owing to the lack of slots available for planes in Paris.
But by 4pm things had changed and an email from Chalmers confirmed that two extra flights had been added, the only problem being that you could only book them online at Flysaa.co.za. But someone forgot to tell the website and the SAA call centre denied all knowledge.
It was time to pull another string. On Tuesday morning I called Oribi Airport in Pietermaritzburg, the closest hub to my home in the Midlands. They told me that the new flights existed, but no one could book them as they were being used for people who were on the waiting list but had been unsuccessful in getting on a flight. The best they could do was add me to the waiting list.
Then it happened: my phone rang and I was told I had two confirmed seats in economy. All I had to do was drive to Oribi and pay before 2pm that day. I was almost in my car when I remembered to ask about the price. R50 000, sir. What? R50 000, sir. Oh.
So that’s why I shall be here and not there, with an extra R50 000 to spend on school fees. Go Bokke.