Thabo Mbeki’s people will probably say they told us so. A Jacob just simply cannot be trusted with power.
But I have a feeling that we have all been worried about the wrong Jacob having his hands on the levers of power, actual and imagined. And the power is slightly different to what the Mbekites might have had in mind as they made their way to and from Polokwane.
For as things stand, actual power lies with one Jacob Maroga (Jacob M), the Eskom chief executive.
Who else has the power to decide when dinner will be cooked (romantic or not, it will be by candleÂlight), whether you can watch the Africa Cup of Nations and, if so, how much of the match? The answer: Jacob M and his crew.
Unlike the other Jacob (yes, the one with the shower on his head), nobody elected Jacob M, so he can afford to make non-populist statements as he has done all along, by saying that there are no quick fixes to the energy crunch.
There will be no two centres of power. But unlike in the style of the other guy who was toppled by the dancing and singing Jacob, power and powerlessness will be spread across classes, which, I suspect, will be in keeping with the egalitarian pretensions of Jacob Z’s leftist friends.
Like Jacob Z, Jacob M can rest assured that cartoonists and satirists will caricature him.
Just the other day I received an email asking which company sells a product that nobody can buy (even when they can afford it) and the answer to this little riddle was Jacob M’s company.
I feel for you, bra Jacob M. I know it is not your fault. Your guys told the powers that be, but did they listen? At least they didn’t fire you for an irretrievable breakdown of the relationship between you and your principal (the minister of minerals and energy) as they did with Billy Masetlha, Nozizwe ÂMadlala-Routledge and Vusi Pikoli.
As the bumper sticker says: ‘When days are dark, friends are few.†And sure the days are dark. But even with the dearth of friends, make sure that those you keep will not bring you headaches (even heartaches) long after the lights have returned.
You might recall how Jacob Z’s friend (yes, yes, we are talking about his former ‘financial adviserâ€) was, in the opinion of a judge, too kind a friend and for that he will have to spend all of 15 years being the guest of the state.
The other Jacob (also known as Jackie) — he who used to head the police — is in trouble because his friend, a known pharmaceuticals trader and a freelance euthanasia practitioner (didn’t he say he successfully helped a friend who desperately wanted to commit suicide?), has apparently told the Scorpions unkind things about Commissioner Jacob.
I just hope that this is a nicer Jacob than the other two Jacobs and will not sue every time we say things he doesn’t like.
If he does sue, he might have to settle for a retraction and an apology. The budget for the lawyers and lawsuits will now go towards buying generators and fuel for these gas guzzlers. Oh shut up, tree hugger, these are dark days, you know —