Jennifer Sey remembers exactly what it felt like to fly through the air, performing gravity-defying moves as a champion United States gymnast. ”It is a transcendent experience. Pushing your body like that; it’s beyond human,” she said.
But Sey was also pushing her body — and mind — in disturbing ways far beyond her feats of athleticism. In a shocking new book, the former number one gymnast in America has revealed the terrible regime of starvation and abuse that lay behind her achievements.
Sey’s memoir has sent shock waves through the tightly knit world of top athletes, sparking controversy as the Beijing Olympics loom. She has detailed widespread eating disorders, coaches suspected of being sexually attracted to their young charges, and a brutal physical regime that leaves gymnasts crippled in later life and bearing psychological scars. She describes a sometimes hellish experience in which she ended up so obsessed with losing weight that she did not menstruate until she gave up gymnastics and turned 20.
She was so addicted to laxatives that she once soiled herself in public. And the physical brutalities of her training and injuries left her years later with premature arthritis and permanently bruised feet and other physical problems.
Now she hopes her book, Chalked Up, might serve as both a wake-up call to a sport that she says she still loves and a lesson to parents whose children enter the world of top athletics. ”My interest was not to write just an exposé. This is my memoir of my experience … but there are certain policies that could be put in place that might encourage better behaviours in the sport,” she told the Observer.
Sey won admiring headlines across America after she won the US National title in 1986. Her win had been all the more special as the year before she had suffered a horrific injury in a fall that snapped her femur. But just two years after her win, Sey went to college to pursue a non-sporting career.
Now her book has explained that dramatic move. Her life as a competitive gymnast was one of seemingly unending competitive pressure that went far beyond the vault or the parallel bars. Most damaging was the constant pressure to lose weight put on the girls, many of whom were barely in their teens and often younger.
Sey describes eating disorders being common and coaches humiliating their athletes by calling them fat. In one memorable scene a coach picks up a loudhailer and berates a young gymnast in public for putting on a kilogram. ”At this rate you’ll look like your mother in no time,” the coach screams, as the mother watches in the crowd and does nothing to intervene. In another incident, Sey’s coach chastises her for eating a whole bagel for dinner. She also recounts filling coffee cups with spit every night to lose a few grams of ”water weight”. She binges and purges food. Even now, two decades later, Sey still has nightmares about the ”weigh in” all gymnasts go through as part of training.
But perhaps the most controversial part of the book are allegations that top coaches had unhealthy attractions towards the pre-pubescent girls who populate the sport. Those parts of the book have caused ructions in the gymnastic world, with Sey being both condemned and applauded for bringing the sport’s ”dirty little secret” into the open. ”It is the exception not the rule, but it does exist,” Sey said. But she added that the really shocking thing was the attitude of silence within the sport. ”There are suspected improprieties, but no one is bothered to ask. No one wants to upset the apple cart,” she said.
Sey does not want her memoir to discourage anyone from entering gymnastics, which is the most popular sport in the Olympic Games. But she does want it to act as a sort of guide to the parents of those children who do succeed. ”They need to pay attention to their children. Watch their mood and see if anything is wrong,” she said.
Sey is also reflective on a sport that is notoriously dominated by the very young. That means gymnasts who hit 20 are already veterans who have burnt out and have no future. Sey was just 16 years old when she won her US title. Yet even then she knew she was at a peak that she was unlikely ever to repeat. ”That night I remember thinking: It’s all downhill from here,” she said.
That is an astonishing realisation for a 16-year-old girl. But Sey, who is now a successful executive and mother of two children, has no real regrets about her gymnastic career. ”Hardship makes you stronger. In the end I would not change anything, because it was my life and it made me what I am,” she said. And she still relishes the memories of what being a top gymnast felt like; of being able to use your body to perform physical feats that others can only dream of. ”I still miss it. I miss it every day,” she said. – guardian.co.uk Â